First cut's the deepest
by supermegafoxieawesomehot
Summary: She's a reblious highschool senior. And he's her mother's intern. But there friends, only friends. He wants more, but does she? Can one night gone horribly wrong bring the two together. Or will Merediths own stuborness get in her way? MerDer AU
1. Chapter 1

Meredith Grey pushed her pink highlighted bangs behind her ear and took a long drag from her cigarette. She shifted her position on the cold stone steps that led up to her school. She was late again but that wasn't unusual her mother was always late. Being a surgeon did that to someone. Surgeon first mother second that was her mothers motto and boy did she fallow it to a tee. On more then one occasion she had to walk home because her mother completely forgot about her.

Don't pity her though, she hates that. She's used to it by now every since her father left them things have been this way. Their not really mother and daughter. More like roommates. She's okay with that though she would much rather have a mother who doesn't really care so that she can do whatever she wants. The only thing her mother really cares about is her grades. And contrary to popular belief she's a good student.

She let out a huff and looked at her watch five-thirty. This had to stop, she was sick of not being at home right after school. She had things she wanted to do, people she wanted to hang out with. She unlike her mother had a life. But if things kept up like this then she wouldn't. She took one last drag of her cigarette and threw it on the ground. Just as she heard the loud roar of a motorcycle. She couldn't help but roll her eyes, her mother had yet again sent one of her lackeys to do her job.

She stood up and slung her book bag over her shoulder. She made her way down the steps and stared Derek down.

"Hey Meredith how's it?"

"What kind of surgery are you missing for this?", she asked with a false smile.

"Nothing special rather some see you.", he gave her his dreamy smile and ran his fingers through his perfect hair.

"Whatever Derek you know you would much rather see my mom cutting people up then come pick up her kid from school."

"Maybe but I don't mind I get to look at you so it's not a big deal."

Meredith rolled her eyes and slung her leg over the motorcycle. She pulled the extra helmet over her head and nudged him to go. They sped off in the direction of her house and within ten minutes he stopped his bike in the drive way of a Victorian style town house. Meredith got off and handed the helmet to Derek.

"Thanks.", Meredith said sarcastically.

"No problem. I really wish you would reconsider."

Meredith shifted uncomfortably and gave him a weak but real smile. "You know we can't Derek. You work for my mom I can't let you jeopardize your career for me. Not to mention that your like seven years older then me."

Derek sighed and took her hand. "I know that but these past few weeks being your friend has been great. I like you Meredith I really, really like you."

"I have a boyfriend." She said she took her hand out of his grip and kissed him on the cheek. Without another word she turned her back to him and disappeared into her house. It wasn't that's he didn't want to be wit him because she did he was pretty much perfect in everyway. But she had a boyfriend and if she even thought of dating Derek then her mother would most defiantly kill her.

She flopped down on her bed and screamed into her pillow. She snatched up the remote from her bedside table and turned on the stereo. She let the music wash all the tension out of her body. The next thing she remembered she was waking up to a pinging sound at her window. She got up and looked out to see Jessie her boyfriend. She opened her window and smiled down at him. He didn't smile back but that wasn't surprising he never smiled _ever._ She climbed out of her window and jumped down landing perfectly on her feet. (She had a lot of practice.)

"Hey Jess." She said giving him a kiss on the lips. But before she could climb in his jeep he grabbed her roughly by the arm and snatched her away.

"Don't touch my jeep you cheating whore." he hissed.

"Jess what the hell are you talking about?"

Jessie smirked and hit her hard on the face. "I saw you, you stupid whore. I saw you with that guy on the motorcycle."

"We- he works for my mom!"

"Yeah right." He hit her again. "I saw you kiss him to."

"Are you kidding me I kissed him on the cheek as a thank you for missing out on some big surgery."

"Yeah right." He let out a humorless laugh and went to sing at her again but this time she was ready for him. She ducked causing him to stumble and fall to the ground.

She took off running down the street without looking back or think of where she was going. She could taste blood in her mouth and feel it trickling down the side of her cheek. She brushed her hair roughly out of her eyes and willed herself not to cry. She wouldn't cry over that bastard he wasn't worth it. She slowed down to a walk when she realized he wasn't fallowing her. And found herself in front of Derek's apartment she banged on the door hard. He was probably sleeping it was one in the morning after all. But she needed a friend right now she needed someone anyone. And she couldn't go home going home meant facing her mother and her mother acting like she cared that her daughter just got beat up by her boyfriend.

Derek opened the door with nothing but boxers on hi perfect body on display for her. He gave her a groggy have smile. "Meredith what are you doing here it's one in-" he stopped probably just noticing her face. She dreaded looking the mirror her face probably looked brutal.

"What the hell happened to you."

She ignored his question. "Can I come in?" she asked shuffling her feet nervously.

He nodded and opened the door wider to allow her in. She sat down on his couch and stared at the white walls as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. He nealed down to touch her face but she flinched and turned her head.

"Meredith you have to let me get a look at your face."

She nodded and allowed him to move her bangs away from her eyes so he could better account for her injury's. Her right eyes was red and beginning to swell she had a gash on her cheek that was still bleeding heavily and a cut on her upper lip. Her clothes were spotted with the blood that had dripped down from her cheek. She looked horrible.

"Mer, who did this did this to you?", he asked leading her into the bathroom so he could clean her up. HE went a washcloth and cleaned the dried blood off of her face.

Meredith let out a nervous laugh, "you know me I'm just really clumsy."

"Don't give me that bullshit! I know some one did this was it your mother?"

"No god no she doesn't care enough to hit me." she paused and looked into his eyes tears welling up in her own. "It was Jess. He-he saw me and you together and he thought I was cheating on him."

"Did you tell him we're just friends?''

"He said I was a lying cheating whore, and he didn't believe me.", She said the damn finally broke as Derek put a band aid over the gash on her cheek. She stared to sob controllably and fell into Derek's arms. He comforted her told her that jess would never touch her again. All the while thinking that he would pay for hitting Meredith. Derek was sure of that.

A/n: So what do you think? It's my first AU story EVER so i hope it's okay. Anyways please review!!


	2. Sunglasses and forgivness

_**AN: Okay real fast disclaimer, I got the idea for this story from another one called "fade away" So sorry for any similarity's but this is definitely going to be different from "Fade Away" I just barrowed the idea of the whole rebellious teenager and mom's intern. **_

When Meredith woke up the next morning it was barely light out side obviously it was early in the morning. Earlier then she was used to getting up. She turned over to see what time it was and saw him propped up on one elbow staring at her. She yelled in shock and fell off the bed. It was then that she noticed she was wearing a pair of boxers and a NYU sweat shirt._ His _boxers and _his _NYU sweatshirt. She blushed furiously She had also slept in the same bed as him. She slept with Derek Sheppard (technically).

He watched her with an amused expression on his face as she realized all this and hurried around his bedroom searching for her clothes. But she found nothing. Not one piece of clothing of hers was in his apartment.

"I washed them.", he said getting out of the bed.

"Last night we didn't…" She trailed off and stared at her feet.

"Nah I would never take advantage of you in such a vulnerable state of mind."

She said nothing just looked around the room.

"Would you like me to go get your things?"

Meredith nodded mutely. And waited for him to return soaking up the atmosphere. He came back five minutes later with her jeans and tank top she was wearing the day before. She disappeared into the bathroom to change.

"So Derek do you think you could stop by my house then drop me off at school?" She asked when she was done.

"I don't think you going to school today is such a good idea.", Derek said concern etched all over his handsome face.

"If I don't go Jess gets the satisfaction that he effected me and besides I'm a big girl I can take care of myself."

Derek rolled his eyes and gently touched her bruised face. "These are kind of contradicting you."

"He caught me off guard." She said with a sigh. "I used to think of him as this great guy who was so in love now I don't know what to think."

"Well you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover… or something like that."

Meredith rolled her eyes and pulled his NYU sweatshirt over her head. "Your not getting this back just so you know." She said with a smirk.

"I figured that much. It's looks better on you then it ever looked on me though."

She smiled at him a real genuine smile one he had never seen before. Her smiles always used to be sad or sarcastic. He defiantly liked her better this way. He stood as his door with his hand on the door knob ready to take her home but he stopped for a minute and turned to her. He gently traced the cut on her cheek. Causing her to close her eyes and sigh.

"Not going to date you." She whispered.

"We'll see about that, Ms. Grey." He smiled and kissed her on the lips softly at first. But when her arms went around his neck he kissed her harder. They both broke apart gasping for air. He smiled down at her.

"What about now?"

"Still not going to date you pretty boy." She smirked and lightly patted his cheek.

* * *

Meredith sat in her math class and sunk down in her seat trying to be inconspicuous as possible. She pushed the sunglasses closer to her face and glanced over to her right. Her best friend Izzie was asleep so she noticed nothing. Cristina on the other hand was staring at her as was two of her other close friends Alex and George.

"Hey Mer." Meredith looked over at Cristina. "What's with the shades?"

"Hm? What shades?" Meredith asked as if she didn't notice them.

"Well the one's on your face idiot."

"Oh these." She asked pointing to them. "It's just… really bright in her."

Cristina gave her a look that clearly said she didn't believe her but she glance over at Jess who was sitting at the other side of the class room he glared at her so she figured telling Cristina wasn't the best idea.

"Good morning class." Mrs. Walters the math teacher said.

No response.

"Good morning class." She said staring each and everyone of them down.

"Good morning Mrs. Walters.", Everyone said with a collective sigh.

Mrs. Walters rolled her eyes, "That was so much better class" she said sarcastically.

She turned to the board and wrote something on it. She turned back to the class but before she gave them instructions she looked at Meredith.

"Ms. Grey will you please remove the sunglass we are in class."

"but It's really bright in here and I have the worst head ache ever."

"In the hall now." She ordered without another word she stepped in the hall Meredith right behind her. Meredith was careful to make sure the door was closed and she turned and looked at her teacher. Mrs. Walters was one of those fresh out of collage teachers who still felt like she could make a real difference in a students life.

"Were you drinking last night Meredith?"

Meredith shook her head no.

"Okay are you on something?"

"No!" Meredith said loudly she couldn't believe her teacher thought she was doing drugs. She drank _a lot_ but that didn't necessarily mean she was into drugs too.

"Then please remove your sunglasses."

Meredith sighed and pulled them off stuffing them in the pocked of Derek's hoodie. And refused to look at her teacher directly.

"Meredith what happened to you." She asked she reached ot to touch Meredith's face but thought better of it and pulled back.

"Nothing, I just tripped." Meredith pulled at the sleeves of Derek's sweatshirt making sure it covered her bruised arms.

"If something is going on at home you can talk to me, you know that?", She asked gently touching her upper arm. Meredith flinched at the contact and rubbed her arm were Mrs. Walters touched it.

"There's more isn't there? Your arm too?", she asked

Meredith didn't answer her she just turned and went back in the class room without another word to her. She really needed to learn to mind her own business. So what if Meredith got the hell beat out of her? What did it matter to her teacher?

* * *

**_After school._**

Just like the day before Meredith sat on the cold stone steps leading up to the school. This time though no cigarette and it was only three-thirty. She leaned back and looked at her friend Izzie who was seated next to her also waiting for her mother to show up. It was odd that one of her best friends would be Izzie Stevens, they where exact opposites. Where Meredith was dark and twisty along with Cristina, Izzie was bright and shinny.

While Meredith was smoking after school and putting pink streaks in her hair, Izzie was at cheer practice and dying her own hair blond. But in some way's the were a lot alike. Like Meredith Izzie's father left her and her mother, and also like Meredith her mother neglected her most of the time. Not to mention that they grew up as neighbors.

The best thing about Izzie was that she didn't asked questions. She knew when Meredith didn't want to talk about something and said nothing she just waited it out until Meredith was ready to talk.

"Hey Mer can we talk… Alone?", Jess asked without waiting for and answer he sat next to her. Izzie looked at Meredith to make sure she was okay and Meredith nodded.

"What do you want?", she spat.

"Look Mer I'm sorry I saw you with that guy yesterday and it killed me. I love you so much and- and I'll never lay another hand on you again. I swear if you just give me another chance I'll show you how much I love you."

"Jess I-I can't." She looked away.

"Please Meredith I hate myself for doing this to you and I know it's not an excuse but I was drunk and- and I'm just so sorry you have to believe me."

Meredith sighed she wanted so bad to believe him. "Okay but if you ever touch me again-"

"I know I know you'll kill me." He smiled.

Meredith nodded and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Meredith!" It was Derek.

"I've got to go but I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah tomorrow." He mumbled

He watched her climb on the motorcycle with Derek and suddenly all the anger from the night before washed over him. No man was going to take his Meredith from him and he would make sure of that.


	3. She needs him

A week passed with no more 'incidents' with jess. And he really seemed sorry going out of his way to please her. Cristina continued to badger her about who hit her. Izzie was usual Izzie not asking knowing that she didn't want to talk about it. Mrs. Walters was the worst though every morning when she got to class she would stare Meredith down making sure that she didn't have any new injuries.

Even worst then that Derek hadn't come to pick her up since the day she had forgiven Jess. When he dropped her off at her house he was so angry with her for forgiving him that they didn't speak, there was no teasing no trying to get her to go out with him. It was eerily different. It made her hate herself for forgiving him. But now she was terrified of ending things with him. Afraid that he would lose his temper and things would be much worse then _that _night.

She hated it, living in fear. It pissed her off she had never been this way. She was always the tough one that no one messed with. Or at least that's what she thought. Now she wasn't so sure.

She had successfully hidden her injuries from her mother. Not that it was hard her mother was never home and when she was she was sleeping she hadn't even seen her mother in the last week. It almost upset her, part of her wanted her mother to freak over this. Then she would at least know that her mother cared about her. But she didn't notice and Meredith sure as hell wasn't going to point it out to her.

She let out another sigh and took a bite out of her sandwich(She saved it from lunch). she was waiting once more outside the school for someone to take her home. She had gotten a ride from Izzie the week before but she had cheer practice today so her mom wouldn't be picking her up until way later.

The familiar roar of a motorcycle engine jogged her out of her thoughts and she looked up a smile sneaked it's way across her face. He was back finally something to look forward to in her miserable life. She jumped down the stairs and greeted him with a hug.

"I missed you Der." She smiled.

He didn't answer her just grabbed her by the waist and pulled her roughly to him. He pressed his lips firmly to hers. His hands traveled up her shirt toying with her ribs and then down to her silk smooth thighs. She kissed him back fiercely like it was the last kiss she would ever receive. She pulled away shoving him lightly she was dizzy from lack of air.

"What was that?" she whispered her voice hoarse.

Once again he didn't answer he just threw her a helmet and revved up his engine. Silently telling her to to get on or he would leave her. She was barely able to climb on the motorcycle before he speed off in the direction of her house. Meredith jumped off as soon as they reached her house and snatched the helmet off of her head.

"Your such an ass." she yelled at him.

"I'm an ass?" He asked with a humorless laugh. "I'm in love with you Meredith. And you going back to that kid after what he did to you is insane! I'm right here Meredith, and I want you! I want to be with you and I would never, ever dream of hurting you like he did."

"You don't love me you can't your just saying that!" She said through tears that where threatening to fall.

"No! I'm not god if you would just open your damn eyes and see what's right in front of you!"

"I can't Derek." she whispered.

"Of course you can't because you would rather be with someone who did that to you." he said motioning toward her eye that was still bruised. "I wont be seeing you anymore Meredith after today another one of your mom's interns will come get you. I can't- I just can't do this anymore."

"Go home Derek." she said as she turned away from him all she wanted to do was turn back around and tell him that she could love him one day too and she wanted to be with him just as bad as he wanted to be with her. But she couldn't ,she couldn't do something as simple as turn around and tell someone she loved how she felt. She stomped up to her room and slammed her bedroom door.

She changed out of her school uniform and into a pair of jeans and Derek's sweatshirt. But before she could do anything else she heard the front door slam. Quietly she left her room and went down stairs.

"Mom?" She called out but got no response. "Derek?"

"Guess again." Jess whispered in her ear. She jumped but other wise didn't move he was right behind her their body's touching.

"God Jess you scared me.", she laughed nervously. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw you with him." he said. "You said you where just friends."

"We are."

Jess grabbed her arm and snatched her around to face him, he pulled her close to him their faces inches apart. His lips crashed roughly against hers. But she didn't kiss him back. He pulled back and frowned at her. His hands fond there way under her shirt.

"Isn't this how he touched you?"

"Jess, stop please."

"I knew you where lying. Your sleeping with him aren't you?" He hissed his hands where still under her shirt moving up under her bra.

She tried to move away from him but his grip on her was to strong. "Jess you said-"

"And you said you weren't cheating on me people lie, things change." he moved his hand up to caress her face but she turned her head so her couldn't touch her.

"Oh so you'll sleep with him but not me?"

"Jess I did not have sex with Derek."

"You expect me to believe that? With the way he _touched _you." He spat.

Meredith closed her eyes willing her self not to cry, crying would only make him even more angry. She bit her lip drawing blood in the effort. She felt her self being pushed roughly against the wall. His hands grabbing her throat cutting off her air.

"Jess let go I can't breath ." she said gasping for breath.

Jess didn't let go instead her squeezed tighter his other hand was working at the zipper of her pants. She had to do something to get him off of her anything. She brought her knee up and made contact with his groin. And he doubled over in pain. She ran into the living room but she didn't get very far before his hand enclosed around her ankle and she fell hitting her head on the table in the process. She felt her warm blood seep out of her fore head and fall down her face. She kicked as hard as she could until his grip loosened and she struggled free. This time she went for the steps taking them two at a time she flung open her bedroom door locked it and jumped out of her window.

Like the last time this happened she headed for Derek's apartment. She needed him.

_**A/N: So this was really really hard to right… so I'm sorry if it sucks. Please review!**_


	4. Ellis Grey

Meredith banged her tiny fist hard against Derek's front door. She was hoping against everything that he was home tonight. Her adrenaline rush was quickly fading and the pain was finally hitting her. Plus she was dizzy and lightheaded from the blood loss from gash on her forehead. And her ankle was throbbing painfully from where Jess had grabbed it. She knew at any moment she was going to faint.

She leaned heavily against the door, unable to stay up by herself. Slowly she sank down to the ground. She banged on the door again. This time she heard someone yell come in. She knocked again not trusting her self to get up. The door opened to revel a black haired lady. Meredith raised her head to look up at her and gasped.

"Mrs. Walters?" Meredith said weakly.

"Meredith?" She asked back. "Derek come here quickly."

Derek rushed to the door. "What is it Amy?"

"Damn it." he said he pushed Amy aside and gathered Meredith in his arms carrying her through his apartment he sat her down on his couch.

"Is this the girl you where talking about?" Amy asked her eyes wide. "Der this is one of my students she's only eighteen!"

"Not really the thing I'm worried about Aims." He turned back to Meredith and looked at the gash on her head that was still bleeding profusely.

"I'm so sorry Derek you were right."

"Don't worry about it. Look at me." he ordered.

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes, "I'm so tired Derek I just want to sleep." She leaned her head down on his shoulder.

"I know, I know but look at me." She looked up at him her face was still covered in her blood along with her clothes.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to get my blood on your shirt."

"again don't worry about it. Look you can't sleep okay? You might have a concussion and if you sleep you could not wake up so please, please try and stay awake. We're going to take you to the hospital now."

"No! You cant my mom's at work she'll freak!"

Derek sighed and disappeared into the kitchen. He came back with a wash cloth and gently cleaned the dried blood off of Meredith's face.

"You need to go to the hospital. This gash on your forehead needs stitches. And you need to be looked at just incase." he said without waiting for her to answer him he picked her up again and carried her outside. He reached his motorcycle and stopped. There was no way in the world he was going to be able to keep Meredith on it.

"You can take my car. But I'm coming with you."

Derek nodded and took the keys from her.

Derek sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Meredith had been back there for more then an hour and still there was no news on her condition. And it was driving him insane.

"What have you gotten your self into big brother?"

"What are you talking about?" he feigned ignorance.

"Your falling for a girl who's eight years younger then you."

"I know I know but Meredith is just so… amazing. She's like no one I've ever met."

"Who's been doing that to her?"

"Her boyfriend Jessie. She came to my apartment the first time it happened, about a week ago and then forgave him the next day."

"Jessie as in Jessie Andrews? He's one of my students defiantly doesn't seem like the type." She sighed.

"Well he is, little bastard thought she was with me so he hit her the first time. Not sure what set him off this time though."

"I've been worried about her." She admitted. "She wouldn't tell me anything not that I expected her to though I'm only her math teacher."

"I've been worried about her to Amy." He sighed again and began pacing the waiting room. For once he knew what it was like to be on the other side. To be the worried loved one and not the doctor delivering news that could possibly change their life forever.

"Anyone here for Meredith Grey?"

"Yeah us." Amy said jumping up.

"Well she has a concussion and lost a lot if blood due to the gash on her forehead we would like to keep her here over night for observation. Tomorrow she will be free to go. She also fractured her ankle."

"Can we see her?" Derek asked eagerly.

"Her mother is with her now and she's sleeping but yeah I suppose you can."

"Wait her mother is there? Why?"

"Well her last name was grey so we assumed that she's Ellis Grey's daughter and paged her."

"Right." He nodded suddenly he was very nervous his boss was in the very room that he would do anything to get into. Part of him just wanted to go home and make sure she was okay tomorrow. He stood up with a sigh and him and his sister fallowed the doctor to her hospital room.

Derek knocked lightly on the door and entered the hospital room. Meredith looked deathly pale. Her black eye was more pronounced then ever and there where purple hand marks on her neck. But she looked so peaceful fast asleep. He looked at his boss her eyes where red and swollen as if she had been crying but he didn't believe it, from everything that Meredith had told him she was a cold hearted bitch who didn't care if she lived or died.

"Dr. Sheppard thank you for taking care of my daughter."

Derek nodded and sat down in the chair on the other side of her bed her took her hand in his own and squeezed it tightly.

"I don't understand how I didn't see it before.", she whispered almost to herself. "I'm never home and if I would have been tonight maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"No Dr. Grey don't blame yourself no one's to blame here. Derek and I both knew what was going on and we did nothing." She said putting a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. Just then Ellis's pager went off.

"Damn It's a trauma. You'll stay with her wont you? I don't want her to wake up alone."

"Yeah Dr. Grey I'll stay with her.", he whispered without taking his eye's off of Meredith. When she was gone Derek let out a sigh of relief.

"Wow not what I expected her to be like." Amy said.

"She's not usually like that especially with Meredith."

"That's sad that it took something like this to react toward her daughter."

"Tell me about it."

Amy looked at her watch and gasped. "Derek I really have to go it's getting late and Jimmy's going to be really mad if I don't get home soon."

"Go it's fine give Jimmy Jr a hug from me."

Amy nodded and left the hospital room.

"God Mer I'm so sorry if it wasn't for me none of this would have happened I shouldn't have kissed you that was stupid of me. I should have know! I'm twenty-seven years old for god sake!"

"Derek." Meredith breathed. Derek looked up in shock he cold have sworn he heard her snoring earlier.

"I'm right here Mer."

"Not your fault."

"Yes it is Meredith it is my fault!"

"Come mere." She whispered. He moved closer to the side of her bed. "A little closer." He obliged until he was leaning over her. She closed the rest of the distance by sitting up. Her lips captured his she nipped at his bottom lip and deepened the kiss.

"I think you were right Derek."

"About what?"

"Everything and I um I think I love you too." He smiled at her and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"It's really could in here would you like to join me?" She asked with a suggestive eyebrow raise.

Derek threw off his shoes and climbed in next to her. She rested her head on his chest.

"Wait what about Mrs. Walters?"

"Who Amy? That's my little sister."

"Small world.", she laughed. "I'm in love with my teachers older brother."

"And I'm in love with my sisters student slash my boss's daughter. Life's weird huh?"

"Tell me about it.", Meredith laughed.

**_A/N: So whatcha think?_**


	5. Be the better man

"When I was married." Ellis said leaning against the same counter as Amy who had come in before school started to make sure Meredith and her brother were okay. "I didn't even get looked at like that by my husband." She said with a sad sigh.

Amy nodded "They look like their very much in love."

"I'm Meredith's mother I should be barging in there right now and telling him to get the hell away from my daughter." She sighed again. "But I don't think I can take that away from her after what she's been through last night and apparently the week before."

"And I should be barging in there telling my big brother that he's a complete idiot. And he's throwing everything he's worked hard for theses past few years away on a girl. But like you said I can't do it. They just look so happy."

"I'm Ellis Grey by the way." Ellis said with a rare smile.

"Amy Walters, Derek's sister and Meredith's teacher."

"Your one of her teachers?"

Mentally Amy was thinking if she had come to at least one of the meetings they had set p so she could talk to her then she would know that. But it seemed by the look on her face that she already knew that not knowing your kid's teacher isn't exactly the best parenting.

* * *

"Thank you." Meredith whispered into a kiss.

"For what?"

"Being home an-and making sure that I was okay. For being here now."

"No need to thank me I jst wish you didn't have to this.", He smiled and brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes and kissed her lips.

"What are we going to do about my mom.", She asked. She hadn't seen her mother in three days it hurt that she wasn't here to make sure she was okay.

"I'll get a internship somewhere else. Or I'll get a new attending. Either way we'll work it out. Nothing's more important then you."

"Not even surgery?", she asked softly.

He smiled sadly at her. "Not even surgery. I promise."

Meredith grinned she could really get used to this.

* * *

Meredith poked around at her food. She wasn't in the least bit hungry. It was her first day back since what had happened and she had yet to tell any of her friends about it . She looked around the lunch room for him. He was two table's away with all of his friends. And he was staring at her. She watched as he excused himself from his table and walked in her direction. She looked away quickly and started talking to Cristina about what they would be doing tonight.

She could feel his hot breath on her neck but she tried to ignore it.

"Mer I think we should talk."

Before anyone knew what was going on Alex jumped out of his seat and had Jessie pinned against the wall. Meredith stared at them wide eyed.

"You think your so tough don't you? Does it make you feel big and strong because you beat up a ninety pound girl?" He dropped Jessie and punched him in the face.

"What about now huh? Do you feel big and bad now? Hmm now that your up against someone your own size. Do you?"

Jess said nothing.

"Come on! Defend your self Jessie." Alex shouted he punched Alex in the gut this time. "Why wont you hit me Jess? You can hit her but you cant hit me?"

"ALEX! Stop!", Meredith ordered. She stood up and limped over to where he still had Jessie pinned against the wall her crutches lay forgotten on the ground.

"Alex he's not worth it. If you keep hitting him you'll be just like him and your better then that!"

"He shouldn't have touched you Meredith. He shouldn't have laid a hand on you. He's a coward!"

"I know that and I know he deserves to be beaten to a pulp but you have to rise above it and be a better man."

He looked at her and then back at Jess and let him fall to the ground in a heap. he stormed back to his lunch table and crossed his arms over his chest. Meredith followed him and kissed his cheek.

"I appreciate it Alex I really do." She whispered In his ear.

"There is no excuse to ever hit a women EVER."

"I know and thank you for being the bigger person."

Alex grunted a response and Meredith laughed. But her laugh was cut short but the arrival of her two best friends Izzie and Cristiana. And Izzie didn't look like she was in the mood to wait until Meredith was ready to talk.

"So this is all his doing." Izzie asked glaring at Jess who was leaning against a wall with a nose bleed. No one not even his friends were paying him any mind.

Meredith nodded but otherwise didn't say anything else.

"Jackass is lucky it wasn't me to hit him.", Cristina muttered under her breath. Meredith gave her a weak smile.

"We should be getting to class."

Everyone nodded and they headed off to their respective classes. Today wasn't as bad as Meredith thought it would be.

* * *

A/N: So shortest chapter yet but I hope you still liked it! Up next... some major Merder loving

Please review


	6. Caught in the Act

"Where's your mom?", Derek asked in-between kisses. They were only at her front door and already her school blouse was unbuttoned to her naval her skirt was bunched up around her waist. And his pants where unbuttoned. She turned away from him and pulled her skirt down a little causing him to grown. She laughed as she unlocked her door and let it swing open.

"She's at work isn't she?", She asked as she stepped into her house pulling Derek along with her she pulled him down to kiss her again as they stumbled to the living room it was clear there was no way they were going to make it to her bedroom.

"Wouldn't know I had today off.", he mumbled kissing his way down her neck. He bit down on the soft skin of her collar bone. She moaned and ran her fingers through his dark curls. He pushed her back on the couch and climbed on top of her.

"Probably is she's always at the hospital."

"So beautiful." He said. His hands skimmed the top of her skirt looking for the zipper to pull it down.

"Meredith honey is that you?" , came Ellis grey's voice from the kitchen. Meredith and Derek froze looking at each other with fear. Neither one daring to move. They heard a glass drop and shatter to pieces on the floor before Meredith dared to turn around. Her mother was standing in the door way to the living room with her mouth slightly open in surprise.

Meredith pushed Derek off of her and he fell to the floor with a thump. Meredith and Derek both scrambled to make themselves a little bit more presentable.

"Hey mom didn't expect you to be at home." She laughed nervously ad she buttoned her shirt back up.

"That much is clear." Ellis replied.

"I should go.' Derek Said he kissed Meredith on the cheek and all but ran out the door.

Ellis turned to Meredith she looked livid. "Your sleeping with him Meredith? Seriously."

"No I'm not!"

Ellis glared at her. "I'm not a fool Meredith. I know when two people are about to have sex."

Meredith sighed. "Okay s maybe we were but mom I'm eighteen and he's like twenty-six. Did you seriously think we weren't going to have sex?"

"I didn't really think about it." she admitted. "Just tell me your being safe. Because if you get pregnant then your whole life will be ruined."

"I'm smarter then that mom!", Meredith half yelled.

"Just tell me that when it does happen you will be safe. I want more for you Meredith I want you to be able to have anything you want out of life."

"We are mom. Just trust me okay I don't want to be a mom at eighteen."

Ellis nodded.

"So what are you doing home anyways it's like four in the afternoon.", Meredith said she poured her self a class of sweat tea.

"I wanted to spend time with my daughter."

Meredith stared at her.

"What Meredith is it so hard to believe that I want to get to know my daughter an little?"

"Yes."

"Well with everything that had happened lately I figured that I should try to know you a little better and well your going to be leaving soon for collage and all so…"

Meredith smile and hugged her mother tightly. "We don't even know if I've gotten in yet mom."

"I'm sure you have your brilliant any collage would die to have a student as smart as you."

"Yeah sure whatever. I'm dieing to know if I've gotten in or not."

"One more week and we'll know. Have you decided which school your going to?"

Meredith nodded and took a bite out of the apple she had just picked up. "I've narrowed it down Princeton and Dartmouth. But my first choice is Dartmouth because it's only two hours away."

"You shouldn't choose your school because of where your boyfriend lives."

"Derek is not a factor in my decision on what school I go to. Dartmouth is a great school and I would love to go to school there."

Ellis nodded and smiled sadly at her daughter. "I cant believe I have a eighteen year old daughter who's going college next year."

"Would you rather have a eighteen year old daughter that doesn't go to college next year?"

"Ha ha." her mother said dryly. Before Meredith could reply her cell phone went off and a bright smile lit up her face.

"Tell Derek I said hey.", Ellis said rolling her eyes.

Meredith nodded and ran up the stair to her room.

"Hey beautiful."

Meredith giggled.

"So how did it go with your mom?"

"Surprisingly not so bad we actually sort of almost had a moment, she's been so weird since I got back from the hospital. It's almost like she… cares."

"Well babe, maybe it hit her that she wasn't being the best mother in the world."

"I suppose, do you want me to come over?"

"You know I do." He laughed.

"Okay I'll be there in ten minutes."

She hung up the phone and jumped out of her window her landing was some what askew since she was a little out of practice. She was at the street when her cell went off. It was a text from her mom.

_Going back to the hospital have fun at Derek's don't do anything you wouldn't do if I was there. _

Meredith looked back at the house her mother was in watching her from the window with a smile on her face she waved and blew her a kiss. And as Meredith disappeared down the street.

"You know what I really need right now." Meredith said snuggling closer to Derek's warm naked body.

"What's that?", he mumbled as his hand skimmed over her body.

"A cigarette."

Derek opened his eyes and stopped touching her. He got this serious look on his face and shook his head.

"Cigarette's are bad for you!", he said sternly.

"So are twenty-six year old pretty boy surgeons but I'm not going to quit you anytime soon." she smiled and kissed him on the lips her hair fell down around his face and eloped him in a lavender and vanilla scented curtain.

"Not that I don't want you really bad right now babe, but you need to get some sleep. Don't you have your chemistry midterm tomorrow? I can't believe you didn't study for it!"

"Oh but I did. Meredith plus Derek equally chemistry. The end." She smiled at him bt fell back on the bad and laid her head on his chest.

"Smartass." He mumbled.

"But you love it."

"I love you." He clarified.

"Hmm I love you more."

"Doubt it."

"OH MY GOD DEREK WHAT THE HELL?", Meredith shrieked from the bathroom. Derek jumped out of bed and ran to her aid only to find her leaning over the bathroom sink in her school uniform examining something large and purple on her neck. When she noticed he too was in the restroom she turned on him. Here eyes bright with anger.

"I cant believe you did that!" she huffed throwing her arms in the air. Derek laughed which only seemed to make her even more angry. "I woke up late this morning because you turned off the alarm which means that I wont have time to stop by my house and get some make-p to cover up this thing. And your sisters going to see it and know I'm sleeping with you!"

"Babe I'm sure she already know were sleeping together!''

So not the right thing to say. Meredith's eyes got big.

"how does she know Derek? Oh gosh this is so embarrassing my teacher knows I'm screwing her brother. Wow she must think I'm a total whore."

"Meredith she knows your not a whore." He brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes. "She knows that your amazing." He kissed her on the lips. "And beautiful." he kissed her again. "and smart." another kiss.

"Keep going." she said with a smile.

"Hmm sexy."

Meredith waved her hand for him to continue.

"Awesome body.''

Meredith laughed. "I hope that she doesn't think I'm sexy or that I have a amazing body that's a little bit creepy."

"we should go I'm already ten minuets late for school."

"Since when did you start caring about school."

"Since I started dating this brilliant guy."

"He's definitely brilliant

_**A/N: so I know this is like a bunch of nothingness but I thought that this story could use a little light heartedness after all that… not lightheartedness lol anyways please review!**_


	7. Acceptance letters

Meredith bit her lip and looked at the letter clutched in her tiny fingers. She was terrified her future depended on whatever was in that envelope. It was weird that so much could depend on a few sentences. She contemplated just not opening it or at least waiting until Derek was by her side to hold her hand and tell her that she was going to get in that she was smart and Dartmouth had to want her because who wouldn't?

No she had to do this herself. Plus it was killing her that she had all the answers but didn't know if she was going or not. She went to rip it open but stopped herself. There was no way she actual got in. Seriously? Dartmouth was a prestigious Ivy League college. Why would they want her? Sure she had strait A's and high SAT scores but still she wasn't smart enough for Dartmouth.

She looked down at the letters she had already opened. She had gotten into Brown, Berkley, Harvard, NYU and Princeton. Columbia had wait listed her. But Dartmouth was the only one she cared about. Sure Brown and Harvard were way closer which meant more time with Derek but Dartmouth was the only school she had ever really wanted to go to every since she had been a little girl.

She sighed she shouldn't really be so worried she had gotten into five out of seven of the colleges that she applied for so she probably go into Dartmouth. Right? She took a deep breath and ripped the side off of the envelope.

_Ms. Meredith Grey, _

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Dartmouth University for the upcoming fall semester-_

She stopped reading the rest. Dartmouth she had gotten into Dartmouth her dream school! She wanted to jump up and down. Instead she opted for grabbing the keys to her mom's extra vehicle and rushed out of the house she needed to tell Derek and not over the phone.

She checked the surgical board and neither her mom nor Derek were in surgery at the moment. So she searched the halls for them she saw Derek talking to another very cute, but not as cute as Derek, doctor. She walked up behind him, pressed a finger to her lips signaling for the other doctor to not say anything . She put both hands over his eyes and whispered in his ear.

"Guess who?" she said softly.

"Look Rose how many times do I have to tell you tha-"

Meredith let her hands drop from his eyes instead the fell at her hips she pressed her lips together in a thin line.

"Who the hell is rose?" she asked

"Um just this nurse that has the hots for me but I swear babe she." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "She's not very pretty."

Meredith laughed and kissed him on the cheek.

"Doesn't matter because I got my acceptance letters..." she trailed off.

"And?"

"And I got into Dartmouth, Brown, Berkley, Harvard, NYU and Princeton."

"Whoa, she's hot and smart nice der."

Derek rolled his eyes at the man next to him. "What mark here means is that's great babe." He beamed.

"Don't I get my congratulation kiss now?" she asked.

"I can do you one better." He smiled and kissed her lightly on the lips. "Mark if anyone ask I'm taking my lunch break."

"Sure you are." He said.

Meredith looked at him suspiciously. Waiting for him to explain but instead he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into a nearby room that had several beds in it. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Sex on the job Derek? I think I like this side of you."

He laughed. And tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and pushed her against the door pressing his body against hers. He kissed her deeply exploring every part of her mouth, while his hands explored the rest of her body.

He lifted her up in the air and she wrapped her legs around his waist while he carried her to the closest bed. She let out a loud sequel when he fell on top of her causing him to laugh.

Meredith stumbled out of the on-call room fiddling with her shirt and trying to flatten out her hair as best she could. Derek was right behind her with his hands on her waist he kissed her softly on the neck not really caring who saw them. She giggled and pushed him away unlike him she wasn't so hot with PDA.

"Meredith what are you doing here?" He mother asked. She looked up shocked although she should have know she would knock into her mom at her work in the surgical hall.

"Oh hi mom, I actually came to tell you and Derek that I got into six of the seven schools I applied for."

"Which six?"

"Columbia wait listed me."

"Bastards." Her mother whispered but she looked up and smiled at Meredith. "Oh Meredith that's so great I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks mom." she said somewhat awkwardly she was still getting used to the new Ellis Grey the one that said things like 'I'm proud of you'. It was definitely something she would have to get used to.

"I have to go do rounds but I'll see you at home tonight?"

Meredith nodded and said goodbye to her mother.

"Seriously we pretty much suck at being discreet that's like the second time she's caught us.", Meredith laughed

"Well if you weren't so irresistible, Ms. Grey then perhaps I would want you constantly." He pressed his lips to hers.

"God Derek get a room."

Meredith turned to find herself face to face with a red headed woman, a beautiful red head woman. Meredith self consciously fiddled with her pink streaked hair and crossed her arms over her chest. And stared at the women. She suddenly was very aware of the age difference between her and Derek.

"Addison this is my girlfriend Meredith."

Addison raised an eyebrow, and offered her a hand to shake. She smiled at her warmly.

"I've heard so much about you. We can't get Derek to stop talking about you its kind of annoying really."

Derek rolled his eyes and steered her in the other direction toward the cafeteria.

"It was nice meeting you Meredith." Addison called to their retreating backs.

"Nice to meet you too." She said. She turned around briefly and smiled at the older women. She fallowed Derek down the hall toward the cafeteria. She briefly wondered how she was going to survive the next few years of school with Derek two hours away. It would be hard she knew that much but it was something she was willing to work at.

_**A/N: So what do you think? I might not get another chapter in for another couple of weeks because... my mom is coming home from Iraq in like... twelve hours! After being away for fifteen months... sorry I'm just so excited lol. Anyways hoped you liked the update and I will get another one up as soon as I can!!**_


	8. Meeting the Sheppards

Meredith laid out a pair of jeans and a green shirt with a peace sign on it. She really wished that she had more mature looking clothes. Everything in her closet made her look like she was still a high school student which wasn't bad if she was hanging out with people her age but tonight she was meeting Derek's family who had all came down to visit at the same time.

She was nervous about meeting them all at the same time. He had four sister who were all married and had at least one child each. And then there was the fact that she was only eighteen and they surely wouldn't approve of her mother dating someone so much younger then Derek. She took a deep breath and decided to search through her closet once more. She finally settled on her red sweater that she wore to church for Christmas mass. And a pair of dark blues jeans with her converse (that was the one thing that she had to have). She fiddled with her hair for a while before realizing that having pink hair probably wasn't the best way to make a good first impression.

She snatched up her cell phone and dialed Izzie's number.

"Hey mer.", She said in her usual perky way.

"Hey Iz can you do me a favor?''

She was silent for a moment. "Yeah sure what do you need?"

"Okay so I have this dinner with Derek and his family. His whole entire family and I have pink hair! Teenagers Iz teenagers have pink hair not very mature adults who got into like six ivy league universities!"

"Mer what do you need."

"Um yeah sorry. Can you pick up some brown hair dye from the drug store?"

"But you love your pink hair!" She exclaimed.

"Well the only reason I really did it was to get my moms attention and well it didn't exactly work. Plus I'm going to college in the fall with like college people who are mature and talk about like mature things and pink is kind of immature!"

"Alright give me ten minuets." She said with a sigh the phone line went dead.

M-D-M-D

Meredith nervously twirled her hair around her finger. It was dark brown darker then what she wanted but she didn't mind it in fact it looked great and made her look a lot older. She loved it. She was also sure that Derek would love it. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. She opened it and found herself face to face with a women with blonde hair and Derek's blue eyes. She smiled warmly at Meredith and ushered her in.

"Derek, you didn't tell me your girlfriend was gorgeous" The blond exclaimed.

Meredith blushed furiously. Derek looked up at her and his eyes grew wide. "Babe when did you do that? I saw you like this morning and your hair was still pink!" he grabbed her face and kissed her.

"So do you like it?"

"I love it! You look all sexy and hot and stuff."

She blushed again and looked around the room. Seated on the couch was Amy Meredith's teacher (She was only allowed to call her that when she was not at school). An older women with blond hair streaked with grey and blue eyes that Derek must have inherited from her. Next to her was and older man who looked as if it was Derek thirty years into the future and with brown eyes.

Seated on the other couch was the blonde who had greeted Meredith at the door and seemed to be the only sibling to inherit her mothers blond hair. On one side was an slightly older uptight looking women with light brown hair. Next to her sat a much, much younger women. She looked to be maybe twenty-two. And had long black wavy hair that reached the middle of her back and side swept bangs.

Derek gently pushed Meredith further into the living room and began to introduce her to his family.

"Meredith, that's my mom Kath and my dad Joe."

"It's very nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Sheppard."

They nodded. "and that." Derek said pointing to the blonde. "Is my sister Kathleen. Hey Kathleen Stop checking out my girlfriend.", He ordered looking at his sister sternly who was in fact checking out Meredith. "You see Mer my sister well she's…"

"I'm gay is what he's trying to say.", she grinned and took Meredith into a hug. Meredith laughed at how blunt she was.

"I'm Emily." The girl with long dark hair said she stood up and shook Meredith's hand eagerly. This women reminded her so much of Izzie it was scary.

Derek turned her around to face his other sister. "This is Nancy."

Nancy raised an eyebrow disapprovingly, but shook her hand.

"Okay." Derek said rubbing his hands together. "Time to eat!"

M-D-M-D

"So Meredith how did you meet Derek." Kathy Derek's mom asked just as Meredith took a big bite of mashed potatoes. She swallowed.

"Well Derek used to pick me up after school and he…" She shifted uncomfortably in her seat she hadn't talked about Jessie in a couple months. "He helped me out with something I was going through."

"Oh, what's your major?", Joe asked

Meredith looked at Derek's parents and then at Derek obviously he hadn't told them that she was still only in high school.

"Well at the moment I'm a senior in high school but I was just accepted into Dartmouth so I'll be pre-med."

Derek's mother made a face that looked disapproving but it was gone to quickly for her to tell.

"Your way to modest Mer." He smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "Meredith got into Six Ivy-league university's."

"Derek." she whispered blushing. Derek smiled over at her he had never seen her so nervous or shy around anyone normally she was outspoken and opinionated.

"How old are you Meredith."

Under the table she felt Derek squeeze her leg reassuringly. "Eighteen."

Derek's mother nodded and turned back to his plate. The rest of the night went on rather quietly. There were a few snide comments from Nancy about the fact that Meredith was barely legal but other then that they had a good peaceful dinner. When everyone was gone he and Meredith sat in his living room watching a movie.

"I'm going to miss this.", She mumbled against his chest. "When I start a Dartmouth we wont be able to be together as much."

"We have three months until we have to worry about that." , He kissed her on the forehead. "But I will be up there every weekend I can and when I'm off I'll drive up for the day."

"But still we wont have be like this anymore. No more late night visits or breakfast together."

Derek pulled her closer to him and pressed his lips to hers. "I love you Meredith."

"I love you too."

**_A/N: Did you like the lesbian sister checking meredith out? I thought that would be a little bit funny. _**

**_Next chapter Mers off to college!_**


	9. Slutty Highschooler

Meredith groaned as she opened her eyes the curtains hadn't been pulled back last night so now the sun was shinning brightly in her eyes. She looked over at the man next to her and smiled he looked so handsome with his scruffy cheeks and messy hair. She kissed the corner of his mouth softly and wiggled out of his arms taking the sheet with her she wrapped it tightly around her. She figured that she would attempt to make Derek some breakfast. Well, cereal at least there was no way she could actually cook anything without burning down the kitchen.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a crash from the kitchen. She snatched up an umbrella from the closet and silently made her way to the kitchen. She pushed the door open and with one hand holding he sheet to her body and the other with the umbrella poised and ready she stepped into the kitchen.

"Kathleen?" , Meredith asked her hand with the umbrella in it fell to the side.

"Meredith what are you doing with a umbrella?" She asked.

"I thought there was someone like trying to rob Derek or something."

Kathleen let out a loud laugh. "During the day? And you were going to protect your self with an umbrella?"

Kathleen abandoned the eggs she was cooking and made her way over to Meredith until they were uncomfortably close. "You know," she whispered. "You look even hotter in just a sheet." She trailed a finger down Meredith's bare arm. While Meredith stared at her shocked by what was happening.

"Leave the poor girl alone Kath.", Amy said with a amused smile as she stepped into the kitchen. "Good morning Meredith." She smiled.

"Morning Amy." Meredith mumbled turning bright red at the fact that she was talking to her teacher in only a sheet. "I think I'll go get dressed and maybe wake up Derek."

Without waiting for either of them to reply she left the kitchen quickly. When she reached Derek's room she took a pillow and threw it at him.

"Get up!" She said loudly leaning over him.

Derek groaned and pulled Meredith on top of him. "Good morning beautiful." he said his voice was raspy with sleep.

"Yes it's a great morning." She said sarcasm laced her words. "Lets see your lesbian sister has hit on me and your other sister who is my teacher saw me and your lesbian sister inches apart with me in only a sheet so yeah it's a great morning."

Derek looked up at her sheepishly. "Oh I forgot to tell you they were coming over for breakfast.", HE paused for a moment. "And my sister is just messing with you. She likes to watch people squirm."

"Oh. It really would have been nice if you had told me so I didn't walk in there half naked!" She hissed. She searched the room for a pair of Derek's boxer and the t-shirt he had been wearing last night. She pt them both on and rolled the boxers up until they fit her petite waist.

"Come on babe." Derek whispered he stood up and pulled her to him. "No worry's Mer."

"Stop.", She ordered.

"Stop what?" he laughed.

"Stop doing that thing where your all dreamy and sexy and perfect."

Derek laughed against her neck. "I'm not doing anything."

She groaned as he rubbed his scruff against her neck and his hands moved up her thighs pushing the plaid boxers up out of his way. She grinded her hips against his desperately.

"Derek get your ass out here!", Kathleen called from the kitchen.

Derek reluctantly stepped away from Meredith and pulled on a pair of jeans.

"So not fair that you get me all hot and bothered and then I have to sit through a breakfast with your sisters!"

Derek flashed his dreamy smile, took her by the hand and pulled her out of the room.

"And your not even going to wear a shirt!"

"I'll make it up to you when they leave I promise." , he kissed her softly on the corner of her mouth.

"Meredith!" Emily shouted from the kitchen.

Meredith grinned and dropped Derek's hand. "Hey Emily." She said. Last night her and Emily had really hit it off being so close in age they had a lot in common. And Emily was the only sister in Derek's family who wasn't married with children. Except for Kathleen of course but she had a son from her previous marriage.

"Nice shirt." She laughed.

Meredith blushed and looked down at Derek's The Clash t-shirt she was wearing.

"Ah Meredith good morning!" Derek's mom

"Hey slutly highschooler how are you this morning?", Nancy asked earning a glare form Derek

Meredith groaned inwardly it was going to be a long breakfast.

M-D-M-D

"Okay that's the last box.", Derek said with a sigh.

Meredith smiled lazily at him and leaned against the brand new car that was given to her by her mother for graduation. He walked over to where she stood and put his hands on either side of her hips. He kissed her deeply. Soon enough they were making out in front of her mothers house.

"Okay you two that's enough.", Came the rather amused voice of Ellis. Derek pulled away with one last kiss and smiled at Ellis.

"Sorry, Dr. Grey. It's just, you have this amazing daughter and I really can't help myself."

Ellis rolled her eyes. "So I guess this is goodbye then.", she whispered tears coming to her eyes.

"Mom I'm only two hours away."

Ellis nodded but still pulled Meredith into a back breaking hug. "You're a beautiful young women you know that?"

Meredith smiled and kissed her mother on the cheek. "Thank you mother."

"Okay.", Ellis shook her head and whipped her eyes. "Derek you better take care of her."

Derek nodded.

"Alright see you in a couple of weeks mom."

Ellis waved goodbye and Derek and Meredith got into the car and drove off.


	10. College life sucks

Meredith ran through her dorm room in search of her cell phone which was currently going off. She found it under one of her textbooks.

_Derek. _she smiled.

"Ah it's the mysterious boyfriend.", her roommate Lily said with a smirk. Meredith stuck her tongue out at lily and answered the phone.

"Hello boyfriend.", She hadn't talked to Derek in a week because of his current hectic schedule. She hadn't seen him in over a month and it was killing her.

"Hey Mer." She could almost hear the smile on his face.

"God I miss you Derek." She said falling onto her bed.

"I know babe and I miss you too." He sighed. "How's school going?"

"There a nightmare. I'm doing good but god it's so much hard work."

Derek laughed. "Did you expect med school to be easy?"

"No ass I didn't but, I don't know Derek I'm just so stressed out right now."

"It gets better."

"God I hope so I have like three papers due on next Friday and I haven't gotten any of them done. If it wasn't for seeing you this weekend I think I would go insane."

"Yeah…' he said hesitantly. "About this weekend I'm not going to be able to make it I'm on call."

"Oh um okay it's that's fine completely and totally one hundred percent fine.", She took a deep breath and tried to keep her self from crying. She hated that she was so dependent on him. "Look I got to go I'll see you when you have time for me."

She hung up on him and pressed her face into the pillow willing herself not to cry. _Happy freaking birthday Meredith, _she thought. He didn't even remember that her nineteenth birthday this weekend that he was bailing on. It was so unlike him not to remember something like a birthday.

_No, _she thought, _I'm not that girl. I'm not the kind of girl who get's all upset and cry's over her boyfriend. she angrily whipped the few tears that escaped their barriers. _

"Lets go." She told Lily

"Were are we going exactly."

"Anywhere where there is alcohol."

Lily smiled. "It's about damn time Meredith I was beginning to think that you where one of those good girls."

"Nope lets go."

M-D-M-D

"You know this weekend is my birthday.", Meredith said the bottle of tequila in her hand swinging dangerously. "It's my birthday and he's not even going to be here."

Lily shook her head. "So that's what this is about. I knew you weren't the type.", she said matter-of-factly She wasn't nearly as drunk as Meredith was.

"No I assure you I am the type.", She nodded her head slowly. "Before I met Derek I was definitely the type!"

"Sure you where hon." She smiled and drank from her beer bottle.

"Fine don't believe me whatever like I care.", she slurred. She looked beside her and smiled at the guy there he was from her chem. class. And was very cute nothing like Derek of course but still very cute. He looked back at her and realized she was staring at him. He flashed her a charming smile.

"Can I buy you a drink?", He asked.

She smiled drunkenly at him and nodded yes but before he could order anything from the bartender. Someone interfered.

"No you can't buy her a drink.", It was Amy.

"What're you doing here?" She asked.

"Well I came to see how you where doing Mer." She moved closer to her and scrunched her nose up in disgust. "You smell like alcohol."

"Hmm I wonder why that could be." She said sarcastically.

"Meredith come on we need to get you home."

Meredith shook her head no. "Can't see still got tequila left!", She held up the bottle to show her. Meredith gave her one of those looks she used to get when she was still in Amy's class that said there was no room for arguing. She pulled Meredith up from the barstool and helped her out of the bar supporting the majority of the younger women's weight.

M-D-M-D

"Meredith." Amy said softly as she pushed Meredith's bangs out of her eye's. They where currently in the bathroom. Meredith was leaning against the wall praying that she wouldn't throw up again. She looked over at Amy to signal that she was listening.

"What happened tonight? You and Derek didn't break up or anything did you?"

"No I just miss him and I don't think this is going to work me and him. I mean we're so different and I haven't seen him in two months and I can't do this! I cant be that girl who gets upset and drunk when her boyfriend can't make it down to see her."

Amy sighed and rubbed her back comfortingly. "You are the best thing that happened to Derek in a long time and he's so happy. You shouldn't give up on him. Being an intern is intense and time consuming"

"I know, I know and I love him I do he's- he's just great ya' know? With his perfect hair and perfect smile. He's really just perfect all around but you would know because he's your brother."

"Hmm." She laughed. "Your still drunk."

"Yep, yep, yep." she nodded.

M-D-M-D

"Oh my god." Meredith groaned as she stepped out of her dorm room right behind Lily the next morning. "Why don't you have a hangover right now?" She wined

Lily laughed. "Hair of the dog babe."

Meredith groaned again and put on her sun glasses blocking the harsh sunlight. She hated the way she had acted last night. She only remember bits and pieces of it. But the bits she did remember horrified her. Had she really almost cheated on Derek with some loser in a bar. What would have happened if Amy hadn't showed up and taken her home?

"Meredith." A deep familiar voice called from behind her. Meredith immediately recognized it. She turned around eye's wide with excitement and launched herself at him.

"Derek!" She yelled. She covered his face in kisses. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't take not having you in my arms for another moment."

"Wow." She laughed into another kiss. "That was incredible cheesy."

"Oh yeah?" He asked.

"Whoa is this the mysterious boyfriend?", Lily asked.

Meredith smiled and wrapped an arm around is waist and nodded.

Lily put her hand on the side of her mouth and said rather loudly "He's dreamy." Derek rolled her eyes.

"Hey babe are you on your way to class?"

"Mhm I'm on my way to breakfast."

"Lily?" Lily nodded. "Do you mind if I steal my girl from you for the morning."

"Not at all." She smiled back.

Meredith shook her head. "How about we all go to breakfast together. You can get to know my roommate. Plus you might want to buy her breakfast for kicking her out of the dorm tonight/"

"Why would we kick her out of your dorm?" He asked. He though for a moment. "Oh…" He smiled smugly at her.

Meredith rolled her eyes and kissed him softly.

"Have I told you yet that I missed you?" she asked. He shook his head and moved a piece of hair out of her eyes.

"I missed you more."


	11. Please don't break my heart

"Meredith?" Derek whispered. "Are you awake?"

Meredith kissed his chest in an answer and hummed softly against his skin.

"Meredith I've been thinking."

Meredith froze in panic. He was breaking up with her she was sure of it. She wanted to cry… but not in front of him she couldn't give him that satisfaction. He couldn't leave her though she knew she wouldn't be able to take it Derek was her rock he kept her grounded. If it wasn't for him she wouldn't even be in college right now she would probably be drunk off her ass doing lines with her 'friends'.

"Oh god." She whispered. "Your breaking up with me aren't you? I knew it was just a matter of time before you did I mean guys like you never like girls like me."

"Hey Meredith I don't know what your talking about. You are my world I would never leave you ever."

"So your not dumping me?"

"No quiet the opposite. I want to be with you for the rest of my life and I've thought about this a lot so I want you to know that I know it will work okay?"

"Derek what are you talking about?"

"Marry me Meredith."

Meredith sat up holding the sheet against her naked body. "Your not serious are you?"

"Why wouldn't I be serious?" He looked a little hurt.

"Because I'm nineteen Derek I can't be married that's insane!"

Derek grabbed both her hands in his and looked her in the eye. "I know how old you are. I know your only nineteen but I also know Meredith that you are the one I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with."

Meredith closed her eyes and breathed deeply. He was crazy, insane. Getting married scared the hell out of her. But loosing Derek scared her more. She almost liked the idea of Derek being hers and only hers for the rest of her life. She could already picture a beautiful blue eyed little baby girl with Meredith's blond hair and Derek's curls. They would make beautiful children there was no doubt about that.

"Okay." she whispered.

"Yeah?" he asked she could hear the excitement in his voice.

Meredith smiled. "Yeah." His excitement was infectious. She felt his weight shift to the end of her bed and she finally opened her eyes. Derek was half on the bed reaching over to his pants he sat back up, took her hand in his and slipped a white gold engagement ring on her finger. For the briefest of moments she was confused, until she realized that a proposal usually involved a ring. She looked down sitting on her left hand ring finger was a beautiful white gold engagement ring with three diamonds set in it. She gasped it was so beautiful. It looked as if it had always belonged there. That when it really hit her about what she had just agreed to do. Derek had just asked her for forever he wanted forever with her despite the fact that she was scary and damaged her wanted her anyways. And she had agreed to it Derek was hers forever.

Her eyes watered up with tear and she cupped Derek's face with both hands before kissing him. It was different like no other kiss they had ever shared before. This kiss held the promise of a lifetime. It held their future that they would have. When Meredith pulled back she left their forehead rest on his and laughed softly before she opened her eyes.

"No kids until I at the least my internship okay?"

Derek laughed. "Of course no kids until then."

Neither of them spoke until Derek broke the silence. "We can still practice right?"

"Why Dr. Sheppard…" She said in a low seductive tone. "I do believe we can."

--

Later while Derek was sleeping she crawled out of bed and went in search of her cell phone. She found it under her bed. The first call was to Cristiana it rand about forty times before it went to voice mail. That was weird because Cristiana always, always answered her phone. Next she called Izzie but she too didn't pick up. Then she called Amy, her mom, Lily, who wasn't in the dorm room then, Sara. Not one person picked up there phone.

Finally she got dressed and headed for Emma's dorm room. Derek's youngest sister Emma was a fourth year pre-med student who lived in the dorm building next to Meredith's. They had become very close friends since she started at Dartmouth. She got to Emma's room and knocked on the door. Her roommate Kate answered the door and told her that Emma wasn't there because of some family emergency. Now that was ever more odd. If there was a family emergency wouldn't Derek be back in Boston? And he would have told her right?

She sighed as she climbed back into bed with Derek. All she wanted to do was tell someone about their engagement. She snuggled up against him thinking she could just call everyone tomorrow she drifted off to sleep.

--

When Meredith woke up next she reached over to pull herself closer to Derek but his side of the bed was empty. She opened her eyes confused as to why he wasn't in the bed with her. She looked at the clock five thirty in the afternoon. They had slept all day or at least she had. She got up and pulled Derek's boxers. She found him in the bathroom brushing his teeth. His dark curls where dripping wet and he hat a towl around his waste. She wrapped her arms around his torso and kissed his back.

"Good afternoon sleepy head."

"Oh my god I can't believe we slept all day!" She said.

"I can after all we did stay up all night." He said spiting toothpaste in the sink.

"Happy Birthday." He said turning around so that he could kiss her.

Meredith grinned and kissed him back.

"Now get in the shower we have reservations at seven."

Meredith grinned and pulled his towel so that it pooled at his feet. Her eyes racked over his body appreciatively causing Derek to groan. "Babe if you don't get in the shower alone right now then where going to be late."

She didn't say anything just pulled her t-shirt over her head and tossed it to the ground soon his fallowed. She slowly undressed herself and hopped in the shower.

"Derek are you going to join me?"

"I just got out of the shower!" He said weakly.

"Hmm your _fiancé _is naked and wet in the shower and your going to pass that up? Now that's not the Derek I know and love."

Derek opened the door so quickly that it startled Meredith. She let out a low laugh and turned around to kiss him. Right before their lips touched she whispered.

"Maybe you are ."

--

Meredith stepped into the crowded restaurant and looked around not a table was open. She sat down on a bench and prepared to wait but Derek stared at her like she was insane.

"Mer what are you doing?"

"It says wait to be seated."

Derek rolled his eyes and pulled her past all the crowed table to the back room. He pulled a cream colored curtain back and stepped into the room.

"Surprise!!" About fifty people yelled jumping out from behind the furniture. Standing toward the front of the crowd was Cristina, Izzie, her mother, Richard, Lily, Emily, Amy and the rest of Derek's family. Everyone else she recognized as friends from high school and her classes. Mark and Addison where also there.

Meredith's jaw dropped and she rushed forward to hug Cristiana and Izzie. "I've tried calling you all day. All of you!"

Cristina and Izzie shrugged. "We kept hitting ignore." Everyone else nodded.

"Did he tell you?" She asked the crowd.

She held her hand out for every one to see.

"We're engaged!"

A/N: Not happy with this chapter bt i felt like you deserved an update. I'm sorry I've sort of disapeared it's my junior year in highschool so I'm super stressed and on top of that I have a new job. Plus demanding friends and ugghhh so many other things. Gah this year is going to blow lol. Has anyone seen the promos?? If you havnt you should b/c there well i wont give anything away but you may be a little angry with them lol . Anyways done rambling. please review they make me happy and make me update sooner!


	12. Mental breakdowns and a wedding

After months of planning and constant random visits from their mothers to discuss the details and get everything perfect . It was the day of the wedding.

It took them forever to choose where they where going to get married. Kathy wanted it to be in a big catholic church, the one she attended. Ellis wanted a small humble church. Meredith wanted neither and after arguing with them for what seemed like an eternity Derek stepped in and told them that it was Meredith's wedding and she would get what she wanted. So she chose the park where they spent a lot of time together. While they where there together Meredith had seen many weddings from the distance and she couldn't think of a more perfect place.

They also disagreed on the guest list. Meredith and Derek's guest list was twenty maybe thirty people long. Their mother's however had at lease a hundred people each. Half the people on each list Meredith and Derek didn't know but people Ellis and Kathy insisted on inviting. They compromised by saying that if they narrowed there list down to no more then twenty people a piece then they could invite them to the reception only.

The dress was the easiest part of all. Meredith went to only two bridal shops before she found the perfect one. It was a cream colored strapless dress. It was tight on her breast showcasing the perfect amount of cleavage, not enough to look sluty, but just enough to get Derek's attention. It flared out a little at her hips and skimmed the ground. Nothing to big it was very simple and elegant.

Derek being the romantic man he was wanted the to write their own vows. Much to Meredith's discretion. It wasn't that she didn't want to write her own vows it was more like she knew she was very good with words and coming p with a speech about how much she loved Derek would be hard because she could describe the feeling he gave her their just wasn't words for it.

"So." Meredith took an uneasy breath. "How do I look?"

Her make up was done by Izzie and she had the smoky eye thing going on. Her waist length blond hair was in loose curls and half of it was pinned up. She heard a small gasp from her mother.

"Oh Meredith." She breathed she cupped Meredith's face in her hands and her eyes watered up with tears. "My little girl's getting married today can you believe it?" She turned and asked Kathy.

Meredith managed a weak smile. "Oh my god." she said panicking. "I'm getting married! I'm getting married and I'm only nineteen! I can't even drink yet and I'm get- oh god I can't do this mom. I can't, I can't be married and still a teenager."

Meredith started to hypervenalate.

"Hey Meredith look at me." Cristina ordered pushing Ellis out of the way. Meredith's eyes stayed glued to the floor. "Hey! Damn it Meredith look at me now!" Meredith looked up at her.

"Breath okay deep breaths calm down." Meredith nodded trying her best to control her breathing.

"Do you love him Meredith?" she asked when her breathing had calmed down.

Meredith looked at her like she had three eyes. "Of course I do."

"Then you can marry him because you love him and he loves you."

"I-I can't." She shook her head.

"Yes. You. Can." she said forcefully.

Meredith shook her head stubborn as ever.

"Damn it Meredith! You love Derek okay? I have never in my life seen you this happy you've done a complete 180 since he came into your life and so help me god if you don't walk up that aisle by your self I'll drag you down it."

Meredith nodded and took a deep breath. "Your right, I can do this. Um I think at least" She nodded.

"No you know

"So are you ready to go?" Kathy asked placing a comforting hand on Meredith's bare shoulder.

Meredith nodded and stepped out of the door with Izzie and Cristina holding her dress so that it didn't touch the ground.

--

"Friends and loved ones, we are gathered here today to witness a commitment between Derek and Meredith to love one another, unconditionally and endlessly. Derek and Meredith, there are many things I could say to the two of you today. But, instead, I choose to listen to the words you have for each other... Meredith." The priest nodded his head at Meredith.

Meredith bit her lip and took a deep breath she looked into Derek's blue eyes and suddenly she wasn't nervous anymore.

"When you told me that you wanted us to write our own vows I was terrified. I was sure that I couldn't find a word in the English language that could even begin to explain how much I love you. but I'm just going to have to try right?" Meredith laughed softly her eyes never leaving Derek's

"I love you Derek Shepherd. I love that you saw something in me when no one else would or could. That you believed in me when I wouldn't even believe in myself. I love your dark curls and your amazing blue eyes. I love how your smile can make me smile even if I'm angry with you. Mostly though I love the person you are. I have to pinch myself every day to make sure I'm not dreaming because surely I don't deserve a love like this. A love so strong that it's hard to breath hard to think strait when your around . I'll Love you always and forever Derek. This I vow to you today and every day for the rest of our lives."

She slipped a platinum wedding band on his left hand ring finger.

"Derek?" The priest said signaling that it was Derek's turn.

"I don't know much about love and life, but I do know that when I saw you for the first time I knew that, that was it for me. I had met the person I would spend the rest of my life with. Of course when I first saw you, you were seventeen and my bosses daughter. So things where complicated to say the least."

The few people who knew what he meant laughed, complicated didn't begin to explain it.

"When we finally got together no one believed that we would make it. But I don't think they understood the love I had for you because if they did they wouldn't have doubted us. Today when I look into your eyes my love for you only grows. It's even stronger now . Our love will never waver. This I vow to you today and always and forever."

He pulled the ring out of his pocket and put it on her finger.

"I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Derek didn't have to be told twice. Hell he didn't even need to be told once. He wrapped his arm around Meredith's waist and pulled her to him causing her to stumble a little. He bent his head down with every intention to give her a short and sweet kiss on the lips but Meredith was having none of it. Her hands went into his dark curls deepening the kiss . They didn't pull away until they heard several awkward coughs and someone (Meredith was almost positive that it was Mark.) Yelled out for them to get a room. Before stepping away from him completely she kissed him softly on the lips and locked arms with him.

"I am happy to introduce to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Derek Sheppard."

--

The door wasn't even shut before Derek attacked her neck in kisses. His hands were touching every inch of skin he could get to. His lips came up to cover hers in a searing kiss.

"I don't think I could possibly want you anymore then I want you right now."

Meredith grinned wickedly. "Not even a little?"

Derek shook his head.

She laughed softly in his ear and whispered in a low voice. "Not even if I told you that I'm not wearing anything under this dress?"

Derek grinned. "I stand corrected." He kissed her again. He reached for the zipper of her dress but she smacked his hand away.

"No way do you have any idea how long it took me to get into this dress?"

"Aw come on Mer please?"

"Nope."

"You're a tease."

Meredith smiled. "Yeah I know. But you love it."

--

"Alright everyone, Speech time." Cristina said with an evil grin.

"Now I've know Meredith my whole life and I pride myself on knowing her better then anyone. Even Derek. Which means I know what she was like before Derek here came into her life, and let me tell you she was a mess. But then here comes this guy and mind you he's a lot older then her and at first I didn't really like him because Meredith is my best friend and the past few years hadn't been very easy on her. I was so sure that he would hurt her. But he didn't, slowly I saw my old friend come back the one that actually smiled and cracked jokes again. She was happy and everyone could see it no matter how hars So Derek I'm passing on the torch. She's your problem now." Cristina laughed loudly at her own joke and sat back down.

Next Mark stood up. Derek groaned very loudly and mark looked over at him with a playful smile on his lips.

"Aw come on man have a little faith."

"I will when you give me a reason to."

Mark rolled his eyes. "I'd just like to propose a toast to my best friend and his lovely wife. As most of you know Derek and Meredith's relationship was, was unexpected. Mostly because Meredith is classy and attractive and Derek is.. not. But, here's to Derek and Meredith, for proving to us that love is real and genuine and still attainable for the rest of us. Cheers you two."

Meredith smiled and leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek. Izzie stood up and clinked her fork against her wine glass.

"Okay this is the last speech I swear but you know I had to get my two cents in. I look at Derek and Meredith and some how I feel safer. I don't know if I can explain that, but they give me hope. And, I'm afraid say it out loud because maybe if life finds out it'll try to beat it out of them and that will be a shame. Because, we all can use a little hope sometimes, you know. That feeling that everything's going to be okay and that there's going to be someone there to help make sure of that. So, here's to Derek and Meredith, and here's to hope, and here's to a love that will never waver."

She raised her wine glass in the air. "Oh yeah, I do believe it's time for the first dance."

Meredith groaned inwardly wishing that she had taken those dance classes her mother had tried to get her into, but she was to busy with school and planning the wedding she didn't have time to do anything else. Derek pulled her out of her chair and onto the dance floor. He whirled her around a pulled her close to his body moving fluidly across the dance floor.

"Since when can you dance?" She breathed in his ear.

"Since I was ten my mom said all men should know how to lead their new wives."

Meredith smiled and kissed him. "Always surprising me."

Derek grinned. "Hmm your pretty surprising yourself."

"Derek we're married." She sighed.

He frowned. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"It's not I'm happy really I don't think I've ever been this happy but it's just weird. I'm married. To you. The most perfect guy ever. And I'm the opposite of perfect."

"Don't say that Meredith you have perfection down to a tee." He kissed the tip of her nose. "From your perfect nose." He buried his face in her blond curls/ "To your beautiful hair." He kissed her lips. "To your amazingly perfect lips." He kissed along her jaw and nipped her ear lightly.

"I can't wait to take you up to our room."

Meredith moaned and pulled him down so that she could capture his lips in an intense kiss.

"Now you have to stop that." She ordered.

Derek rose an eyebrow.

"What?" She asked. "If you don't stop then I'm going to drag you up there before we even eat our dinner."

"In that case I think I'll continue." He smirked.

Meredith bit her lip. 'No." She said forcefully.

He laughed. "As you wish Mrs. Sheppard."

Derek felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around Mark smiled widely at him . "Can I steal your wife away?"

Derek frowned but stepped aside to dance with Izzie. Mark pulled her to him by the waist He took her hand in his and held it to his chest smiling when she rolled her green eyes at him.

"Gotten any of my cousins drunk yet?"

Mark pretended to be hurt. "I don't need to get a women drunk so that she'll sleep with me. A wedding where their younger cousin is married before them makes all horny and desperate. It's like a freaking jackpot of hot women."

Meredith laughed.

"What? Usually you'd be beating me up for that."

"My whole family figured I would be the last to get married."

"Proved them wrong."

"Sure did."

--

"She looks happy Derek." Izzie said looking over at Meredith who was laughing.

"She does doesn't she."

Izzie sighed. "You know most people look their entire live for what you and Meredith have found, and just as many people die before the find it. So don't hurt her okay?"

Derek smiled. "I love her to much to hurt her."

"Good because she's got two friends who could do you in and hide the body where it would never be found." She said compeltly serious.

Derek laughed nervously. "Um… I'll Keep that in mind."

A/N:Lots and lots of reviews make for a faster update!!


	13. The Honeymoon

_**A/N:Okay so this is a little short but I'm super happy right now because I got a brand new labtop!! Yeah!! Okay lol so the next chapter wasnt happy enough for my super happy mood so I wrote this! So fluffy you'll get a tooth ache lol with a hint of seriousness in it. Oh and was anyone else not super happy with grey's the other night? and now we have to wait two weeks! Next one looks like it's going to be badass! And one more thing. I forgot to mention alot of the speaches and like half of the wedding vows are from one tree hill. **_

_**Rambling over. Enjoy!**_

The two weeks fallowing their wedding flew by in a blissful blur. They spent the first week of their honey moon in Germany, France and Italy. The next stop on their trip was the Greek islands and then Spain but they fell in love with Tuscany, Italy and stayed there for the remainder of their trip. On the rare occasions they tore there hands away from each other long enough to do something they spent their time in the city exploring or lounging in the olive field that was owned by the same people who owned the hotel they where staying at. They would lay there for hours Meredith's head on Derek's chest while he played with her hair. They where know as the deeply in love newlywed couple and they got along with everyone.

Meredith was sure that she would never find another place as beautiful as Tuscany in her life and she vowed to Derek that they would comeback at least once a year until they died. He would laugh and tell her what ever she wanted he would give it to her. It was those moments that she pictured Christina sticking her finger down her throat as in if she was going to throw up at how mushy Meredith had become. But she would laugh a little and push the thought aside she really didn't need to be thinking about Cristiana on her honeymoon.

When she thought about Cristina it brought back the real world and the sad fact that they couldn't just stay in the other universe forever. They had a life back home they needed to get back to, school and a job. Then there was the issue about how they where going to manage to pull this whole marriage thing off. She was still in school and Derek was still working two hours away. She didn't know why they hadn't though it through earlier, figuring that everything would just fall in place when they got home.

She looked over at Derek who was lying in the bed next to her asleep. She brushed his curls out of his eyes and caressed his cheek with the back of her fingers. She kissed him softly on his neck and watched him sleep for a little while longer before he stirred awake. He gave her a sexy lazy smile but frowned almost immediately.

"What's wrong?" His voice was raspy with sleep.

"Just thinking." She whispered.

" 'bout what?"

"Us, school, work." She bit her lip and looked into his deep blue eyes. "How is this going to work? We're married and we've never lived together and-and we aren't going to it's not like it's even possible right now. I can't leave Dartmouth after my first year. And it's your last year of residency it wouldn't be a good idea for you to move to another hospital your last year."

Derek sighed and rubbed Meredith's upper arm. "We'll do what we have been doing."

"That's no way for newlyweds to live."

"I know, I know, but I think that we can do this we have been for the past year, and yes we're married now, but we are still the same two people who fell in love two years ago. When I complete my residency I'll do my fellowship in Hanover."

Meredith nodded still not completely sure that they would be able to work it out she was barely able to be away from him for more then a few hours much less a week at a time. She looked at him and smirked.

"Ah well it will give me more time for my mistress."

Derek rose an eyebrow at her. "Mistress? May I ask who he is?"

"She," Meredith corrected with a grin.

"Oh a women? Very hot."

"Oh yes very hot." Meredith laughed.

"ah... Well may I ask who it is that your having a steamy affair with?"

"I supose since I've already gotten you hooked on the amazing drug that is Meredith Grey-Sheppard" She pretended to think for a bit before replying. "Kathleen, I don't know what it is about you Sheppard's but something just gets me all fired up inside."

"Deep down I think I always knew." He sniffed. "but I must know, whose better?"

"Kathleen." Meredith said without hesitation. She laughed at the look on his face but was quickly cut off when Derek pinned her under his body.

"Even when I do this?" he asked kissing the spot on her neck that he knew drove her wild. She moaned loudly and tilted her head so that he had better access to her neck.

"Still better." she said her voice was low and filled with need.

He smirked and ran his hand up and down her thighs almost touching her but not quite. He kissed her harder.

"what about now."

"Derek please."

Derek laughed. "Not until you say it."

Meredith took his face in her hands and pulled him to her she kissed him roughly when the broke apart she mumbled.

"So much better."

* * *

Ten reviews and I'll do everything in my power to update this tomarrow!


	14. Suddenly everything comes crashing down

A/N: I meant to have this up yesterday but instead i went to the movies and rode the bus for the very first time in my whole life. He he. (I live a very sheltered life).

Um and this chaper is rated M just so you know so if you dont like M rated storys skip this chapter and I shall give a summary of it in the next chapter just leave a comment asking for one.

* * *

Meredith liked to believe that she was a strong independent women. She didn't _need_ Derek she just _wanted _him. She could open a jar of pickles, without his help. She could take out the trash and change light bulbs. Once she even fixed the sink. So yes she liked to believe that if something happened to Derek, (God forbid), she would be able to survive without him.

Although right now she felt as if she very much depended on him as she walked into their dark empty house. Every since what happened with Jess she hadn't been able to walk into an empty house without her heart beat increasing a ten fold. She knew it was ridiculous the man didn't even know where she lived ad had surely moved on already. That's what she told herself over and over again but really it was no use she was still terrified beyond belief.

As her eyes raked over the rather large living room they paused at the couch there was a black duffel bag that she had never seen before sitting where Derek usually sat at. She knew it didn't belong to him. Panic washed over her as she looked around a little more no one appeared to be in the house, and she wasn't about to call out for Derek and give away her position. She strained her ears to see if anyone was in the house, a creak, one of the floor boards creaked.

_No Meredith your being paranoid no one's here._

She took a deep breath to calm herself and stepped into the living room to see what was in the black bag. She had moved about two steps when she heard a deep familiar voice that haunted her dreams most nights.

"You've learned a lot since our last encounter." His voice was smooth and dangerously calm. He stepped into view, His hair was short army style, he was taller his shoulders wider and his muscles more defined he looked a lot more confident then when she had last seen him. There was no way that she was getting away this time she was sure of it. Her lip quivered like she was about to cry so she bit down on it hard half to make it stop and half to not cry. She wouldn't cry in front of him or even because him because that's what he wanted.

"Not speaking so I don't know where you are. Very smart Meredith."

She said nothing as he strutted over to her.

"I've been watching you, waiting for the perfect moment to strike." His hand moved to her face and caressed it with a gentleness Meredith didn't expect from him.

"You see I've learned a lot as well. I learned to control my anger, and be more patient." His eyes raked over her body, and stooped at her left hand. For a moment his face twisted in anger but the moment was gone and he looked cool and collected again. As if he wasn't going to possibly kill his ex-girlfriend.

"Your married?" He asked. "To that Derek guy?"

Meredith didn't answer him.

He turned around a picked up a photo frame. One of Meredith and Derek lying in the grass at the park they where married at. Meredith was lying on her back her hands resting on her stomach looking at Derek with a wide smile on her face. Derek was propped up on his elbow his lips were inches away from hers.

He dropped it on the ground, it shattered.

"Derek will be home soon." She said.

Jess let out a laugh that sent chills down Meredith's spine and disappeared into the kitchen. It occurred to her that she could get away now. To bad she was frozen in fear. He returned to the kitchen with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Meredith, I'm sorry I missed you, I have a late surgery. I'll try to get home before you go to bed but don't wait up for me all my love, Derek."

Meredith felt another wave of panic wash over her but this one was stronger nearly knocking her off her feet.

"Like I said before Meredith I've been watching you and he comes home late a night. Sometimes not at all. He neglects you. Leaves you alone while he fucks his mistress. He doesn't deserve you. I deserve you."

"Derek loves me." she said through clenched teeth.

He finally snapped. "Derek. Does. Not. Love. You."

"He does." Suddenly she felt brave if he was going to hurt her she might as well get a few words in.

"No." he said forcefully.

"My _husband_ loves me very much."

Jess let out a low growl and grabbed Meredith's upper arms. He threw her against the couch so force full that it moved backwards a few feat. The glass table behind it fell over with a loud crash glass flying everywhere. Jess fell on top of her knocking the breath out of her. She cried out as her ripped her shirt off and grabbed her breast roughly. She closed her eyes as tightly as possible somehow she managed to get her cell phone out of her pocket and dial 911 after that she doesn't remember much.

--

Dr. Addison Montgomery stood outside of the hospital waiting for the ambulances to come by. Her interns rushed to the first one.

"What have we got?" She heard them ask.

"Meredith Sheppard ,rape victim, multiple stab wounds, broken rips, leg and arm, collapsed lung."

Wait had she heard them right? She looked over and sure enough there was Meredith. She pushed her interns aside.

"I've got this one. You," she said pointing at a pretty doe eyed intern, "Go find Dr. Sheppard tell him to get down to the ER ASAP."

The girl nodded but stood there.

"NOW!" Addison yelled. She ran off into the hospital.

--

Derek was just about to scrub in when the girl came up to him.

"Dr. Sheppard, Dr. Montgomery said to get down to the ER ASAP."

"Tell her I'm just about to go into surgery."

She looked up nervously. "Um Dr Sheppard It's Mrs. Sheppard."

Derek stared at her for a moment but tore off his scrub cap and threw it in the trash. He practically ran out the door running into Mark in the process.

"Hey man what's the rush." He asked running along side Derek.

"Get Dr. Victor to take over my surgery. Tell him there was a family emergency."

Mark nodded and went off to find Dr. Victor.

When Derek go to the ER they had already taken Meredith into emergency surgery. Addison however was standing there waiting for Derek. Her scrubs where covered in blood. Blood that Derek refused to believe was Meredith's. Addison looked up at him with dread in her eyes. She didn't want to be the person to tell him that his new wife was brutally raped and beaten almost to death.

"What happened?"

"do you want to sit down?"

"That's what we ask patients when it's really bad." He said in a whisper.

"Just sit down Derek." She sighed.

Derek sat down and rand his fingers through his hair in a attempt to calm himself a little.

"They found Meredith at home unconscious. She- they believe she was-was raped."

"They believe or she was?"

"We wont know for sure until we do a rape kit on her but she's been rushed into emergency surgery. She has multiple stab wounds to her abdomen. Broken ribs, leg and arm. Also a collapsed lung." she took a deep breath and continued.

"She went into vfib twice."

"Who's operating on her?"

"Owens for the punctured lung, And Smith for the broken bones."

"What about the stab wounds they didn't hit any vital organs did they?"

"No."

"This is all my fault." he whispered so quietly she almost missed it. Addison stood up from her seat and sat next to him rubbing his back.

"It's not your fault Derek no one could have seen this coming"

Derek ignored her. "I thought I had seen him a few times but I figured I was being paranoid and I knew that telling Meredith would freak her out. I should have dealt with this a long time ago when it all started."

"Derek what are you talking about?"

"Jess he- It had to be him. And if I just would have been there at the house this would have happened to her. I havnt see her in two weeks Addie! Two weeks, she comes down to see me and this happens because I wasn't at home when I said I would be! What kind of husband does that?'

"Derek, look at me."

He looked at her.

"You are a wonderful husband, and Meredith she loves you so much. Do you wanna know how I know that? Because Meredith wont shut up about you ever. And when she sees you her whole face lights up. So your not a bad husband. You're a great husband."

Derek nodded and wiped a single tear off of his cheek. "Um can you just page Dr. Grey or something tell her what happened I don't think I have it in me to tell anyone right now."

"yeah, sure, of course. Do you want something to eat or drink?"

Derek shook his head "I'm good. Oh and can you ask Mark to come down here as well?"

Addison looked slightly confused by the request but figured he needed his best friend right now. So she did as she was asked.

--

"How is she?" Mark asked.

"I know Addison told you everything already, and I haven't gotten and update. But I need a favor."

"Anything man."

Derek took a pad of paper and a pen out of his scrub pockets and wrote something on the paper.

"Jessie Andrews?"

Derek nodded. "I need you to find everything you can about this guy. Where he lives who his friends are anything and everything."

"Why?"

"Because I'm ending this."

Uh-Oh Derek's on a man hunt! Soo so sorry for bringing Jess back but you know needed him for the direction the stroy will now be going in. ) anywhoo hope you enjoyed even though it was a but heart breaking. 


	15. Things will change

A/N: Don't hate me. ='[. I tried this chapter was just so difficult to write you have no idea. I hated writing it really. Oh and it's rated M for language. So if you don't like cussing don't read the middle part. I don't recommend skipping over it but you know. =b anyways enjoy.

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He had been sitting in the waiting room for hours without an update, staring at the stark white walls and doctors clad in blue scrubs that where looking at him sympathetically. How did they already know that behind the OR doors was basically his whole life? Word spread fast around Boston general. Derek couldn't help but allow a bitter laugh to escape past his lips. What where they in high school? When they all first found out he was dating Meredith a high school senior and also Ellis Grey's only daughter they started talking, a lot. Mostly that he was trying to get a head in his job. Even worse was when he asked her to marry him. They all figured she was pregnant and Derek being the stand up guy he was offered to marry her.

He obviously hated white. For one he had to stare at it all day everyday but now he had to stare at these horrible walls while his wife was off in surgery that she could possibly not come back from. Now he knew how patients family felt he hated this. Most of all though he hated sitting here while Jess was out there not having to deal with the repercussions of what he had done. But he would once he knew for sure that Meredith had made it out of surgery he would leave. Well he also needed an address from Mark.

Both things happened at once. Dr. Owens came out of the OR with a rather grim expression on her face. Derek's heart plummeted to his feet as he watched her walk toward him. He stood up and rubbed his face hard in an attempt not to breakdown.

"She got through the surgery and if she makes it through the night she should have a full recovery."

Derek sighed with relief. "if?"

"Dr. Sheppard, she lost a lot of blood and there's a possibility for infection. But if everything goes well tonight she will be okay."

Derek nodded slowly.

"Has Dr. Grey been paged yet?" She asked softly.

'Um yeah she's in surgery. Thank you so much Dr. Owens."

She nodded and Mark stepped forward from where he had been waiting patiently. "She'll be okay man." he said patting him on the back. "Here's that address you asked for."

Derek took the slip of paper out of his hand and looked at it he frowned the house Jess lived at was only four houses down from Derek's. He would definitely be moving very soon. But right now he had something to take care of.

"What are you going to do Derek."

Derek looked at him clearly annoyed. "I'm going to do what I told you I would do. He's not going to get away with this Mark."

"You can't just go to his house and kick his ass."

"Oh I cant can I? Let me ask you this mark, If it was Addie who he did this to what would you have done?"

Mark sighed he couldn't lie flat out to Derek so he told him the truth. "Kick his ass."

Derek nodded. "That's what I thought."

Mark walked along side of him as he left the hospital when he got to his car he looked at Mark.

"I'm coming with you." he stated. "There's no way I'm letting you kill this guy. Kick his ass yes but kill him no."

The drive over was silent, Derek was deep in thought and to furious to speak. Mark spent the ride carefully studying Derek. Normally his friend was a very calm man. He had never in the many years since they had been kids seen Derek this angry. He was honestly afraid for Jess not so much because he didn't think this guy deserved a good butt kicking but because Derek looked murderous right now and there would be no way for Derek to support Meredith and be with her right now if he killed Jess and then went to jail.

When they pulled on to Derek's street he saw that it wouldn't really be a problem, there was a three police cars parked in front of his apartment building. Derek frowned at that but checked the address and parked the car. He got out and swiftly made his way to the house. He banged hard and rapidly on the door. A very blurry eyed Jess opened the door in only boxers. He had bite marks that looked as if they had been bleeding pretty badly and claws marks all over his chest. Part of him was very proud of Meredith for defending herself like she had.

He grabbed Jess by the arm and hauled him out onto the lawn without a word.

"Your sleeping?! Your fucking sleeping after what you did?"

"Derek." Jess sneered.

Before he could say anything else Derek punched him square in the face. He fell on the ground holding his nose while blood seeped through his fingers.

"She could die! And you're coward ass is fucking sleeping!" he yelled with a well placed kick in the gut. Jess stood up again only to get punched in the mouth by Derek. Again Jess stood up, Derek found himself thinking this guy would never fall.

"Come on Derek Meredith needs you."

"No." Derek shook his head stubbornly.

"She's a whore." Jess said spitting blood on the ground. He punched Derek in the face but he held his ground not moving even a little.

Derek went to pounce on him but Mark held him back.

"I fucked her. Hmm." He closed his eyes as if he was savoring the memory. "Fucked her hard and good. She loved it. She's a screamer but I guess you know that already."

Mark let go of Derek but before Derek could so much of move Mark punched Jess in the jaw. When he fell this time he staid down spread eagle on the wet grass. With one last hard kick in the side that he was sure probably broke a rib or two. Derek climbed into the passenger seat of his car not trusting himself to drive. When Mark got into the drivers side Derek looked at him.

"Call the cops." He said shortly. "And… thank you."

"She's my friend." He said simply. In truth Meredith was more like his little sister now. Or at least that's how he saw her.

---------

"What happened to you?" Kathy asked as Derek walked back into the waiting room. While he was gone, Ellis, His parents, Amy, Emily and Kathleen had all showed up. Derek groaned Meredith was so going to be pissed off when she found out that they all knew what happened.

Kathy reached up and brushed her fingers lightly against his quickly bruising cheek. Derek shook her off and sat down in the only empty chair.

"Nothing mom. What are you doing here."

"Derek don't be an ass ." Kathleen said

Derek glared at her. "I think I've earned the right to be rude."

Kathy smiled weakly at her son and brushed a curl out of his eyes. "Leave your brother alone Kathleen he's been through a lot today."

"Derek?" Addison asked softly.

Derek looked away from his family and at Addison. "You can see her now."

------

Derek took the seat next to Meredith's bed and stared at her, her pale bruised and broken form. He took her battered hand in his own and kissed it softly. A single tear escaped past it's barriers and slid down his cheek.

"I need you to do me a favor Meredith." he whispered. "I need you to be okay. Okay? Not just fine because we all know your definition of fine is so much different from normal peoples. I can't do this with out you Mer, and I promise if you hang in there for me I'll be better. I'll never take late surgeries no matter how important they are and I'll always be home to you in time."

He kissed in on the cheek as best he could with the incubator covering half her face.

"Things will be different I promise."


	16. Waking Up and Surprises

A/N: So I hope you like this chapter. Kind of short sorry about that lol. Thanks all of my reveiwers you guys are the bizomb. He he I said Bizomb. Wow.

* * *

Breathing was difficult. Every breath was he took caused another shooting pain in his heart. The beep of the heart machine was like a lullaby. Without it sleeping was hopeless. Not that he could get any sleep in the first place. As long as the beeping sound was normal she was okay. She was still a live. He had only left her room once or twice for fear that as soon as he did he would loose her.

Two weeks had passed since she came in and while she was improving she had yet to wake up. There was no nuero problems, he was sure of it he had been over her charts to many times to count. Nothing, nothing explained the reason that she wouldn't wake up. She just wouldn't the attending kept telling him that she would wake up when she was ready and that sometimes it's not a physical reason someone isn't waking up but a emotional one. Like the brain trying to forget a certain traumatic event.

He was once more looking over her chart looking for anything that he had missed the hundred times before when Addison walked into the room.

"Derek?"

Derek looked up with the same broken expression he had worn for the past two weeks the same look that had broken Addison's heart every time she looked at him.

"I just got Meredith's daily labs back just now."

"Hmm anything new?"

"Yeah, Derek I don't mean to get in your and Meredith's personal business but when was the last time the two of you had sex?"

Derek shot her a very confused look. "What does this have to do with anything?"

"Everything, Derek.", she reassured him.

"She surprised me for lunch the day of the attack."

Addison looked relieved, confusing Derek even more. Why would she be relived that Derek and Meredith had sex?

"Derek, Meredith's estrogen levels where elevated." She said quietly. Elevated estrogens levels could only mean one thin

"She's pregnant?"

Addison nodded, panic gripped Derek's heart. What where they going to do? What if the baby wasn't his? What if it was Jess's? Would they still love it as much as if it was Derek's? Somewhere in the back of his mind Derek was degrading himself. Of course they would love the baby as much of it was his. How could he not love something that came from Meredith?

Yeah, they would be okay.

* * *

She couldn't breath. Something was blocking her air way making her coke. Her eyes snapped open white was everywhere and she was alone in a room she didn't recognize. She heard the familiar beeping of a heart monitor beeping out of control who ever was hooked up to it was panicking. She heard foot steps several people where rushing into the room. The soothing voice of her husband filled her ears.

"Meredith, calm down I'm here. There going to take the incubator out now."

Whatever was in her throat was removed, she took a deep shaking breath and tried to speak. Nothing came out, her throat was to dry. Derek seemed to sense the problem and he held a bottle of water up to her mouth, she drank from it greedily.

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly already knowing the answer.

"What happened?" She asked her voice came out as a harsh whisper.

"You don't remember?"

Meredith shook her head.

Derek sighed and ran in fingers through his hair. How was he supposed to tell her? "When you got home Jess was there an-"

Everything came flooding back to her. Jess taunting her calmly. Telling her that Derek didn't love her. His rough hands touching places that only Derek should be able to touch. She remembered waking up briefly while they where wheeling her through the ER. Along with the memories came the pain it was overwhelming both physically and emotionally. Her heart felt like it weighted a hundred pounds. Derek would never want to touch her again not after what he had done.

She felt disgusting, she wanted to throw up, no she was _going _to throw up. She leaned over the edge of the hospital bed and threw up the contents of her stomach. Letting out a cry of pain at the sudden movement. Derek pressed the call button and rubbed Meredith's back in a way she was sure was meant to be comforting but she flinched away from it none the less. He removed his hand and tried to kiss her forehead but she flinched away from that too.

He tried not to be hurt by it. She had been through a lot her not wanting him to touch her was perfectly normal but none the less it stung.

"How long have I been here?"

"Two weeks."

Meredith's eyes widened two weeks was a long time she was going bound to be behind in school it was going to take her forever to catch up. She remembered Lily missing one day of classes and it took her a week to make up what she had missed. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was telling herself that it didn't matter there where bigger problems she had to deal with right now but all she wanted to think about was school. At least it would take her mind off what had happened.

"And Meredith there's something else but before I tell you, you have to promise that you wont freak out okay?"

Meredith nodded unsure as to weather or not she would be able to keep that promise.

"You- your pregnant Meredith."

Meredith shook her head. "No I'm not. I can't be." She looked at Derek for a long moment and let a few tears fall. "I don't want this baby, I don't want _his _baby I want your baby Derek." She said her voice was tight with emotion. Derek took her hand in his and kissed it softly pleased when she didn't pull it back.

"No matter what Meredith mine or his I will love this baby because it's yours."

"but _I_ don't want it unless it's your's I don't want anyone elses baby but yours Derek."

Derek lightly stroked her bruised face with one finger and kissed her on the lips. "and if It's mine and you got rid of it would you ever be able to forgive yourself?"

Meredith shook her head.

"Look at me Meredith." He mumbled. She looked up and green eyes met blue.

"I'm not going anywhere if that's what your worried about. I'm here forever whether you like it or not."


	17. Resentment

**_Hey hey hey hey!!!!! Okay so I wasn't going to update this for a while because well it just you know wasnt there but i was in a good mood and I was bored in computer class so I just started writing and I got it done! So do I rock or do I rock? Boombooom You guys rock you know that? You're AMAZING. 'specialy when you review... you know just saying_**

**_SO you know this new layout thing is confusing lol. It took me FOREVER to find out how to post the last chapter and then I found out and I was like 'wow your and idiot that's to easy.' _**

* * *

"Hey." Meredith mumbled from the doorway of their bedroom. Her hair was dripping wet and she wore only a towel wrapped tightly around her body. She slowly limped over to Derek since she choose to forgo her crunches. When she reached him she sat down at the bar. Her eyes briefly darted to the living room and then back at Derek. He sighed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Hey, why don't you go get dressed and I'll go pick up some Thai. "

Meredith nodded trying not to look Derek in the eye. If she did he would know how utterly terrified she was at the prospect of being left alone, but Derek put two fingers under her chin and forced her to look at him.

"Mer, if you want I'll wait for you to get dressed and we'll go pick it up together."

Meredith shook her head. It had to happen sometime right? She couldn't be around someone twenty-four seven. "I'll be fine just hurry back okay."

Derek nodded and went to kiss her on the lips but she turned her head and he got her cheek instead. With a sigh he grabbed his coat and left the house.

Twenty minutes later, Derek came into the house arms laden with way to much Thai for only two people. He had just sat them on the counter when he registered running water coming from the bathroom. He knew Meredith had taken a shower prior to him leaving. So he was confused as to why the shower would be on. He stepped into their bathroom and his heart broke for what seemed like the millionth time in the past month.

Meredith was behind the clear shower door scrubbing her skin vigorously quiet sobs where heard over the flow of the water. A fully dressed Derek opened the shower door and stepped in behind Meredith. The water was scolding hot and had no doubt burned her skin. He turned it to a cooler setting and grabbed her wrist gently but firmly and pulled her to him whispering words that where meant to be soothing.

"I can't- I can't get him off me." She sobbed. "I've taken three showers and I can still feel his hands all over me. I can still smell him on me. He's everywhere Derek!"

"Meredith, he's gone. He'll never hurt you again." he kissed her on the top of the head and lowered them to the floor of the shower. He pulled her shaking body against his and held her for a few moments before she shifted in his arms to look at him.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked quietly.

Derek looked surprised. "I'm your husband Meredith I love you."

"No, no you don't." She shook her head. "How _could _you?"

"I don't get it Meredith how could I not."

"I don't get how you can even look at me."

Derek laughed softly although nothing was funny about what she was saying. "I love looking at you. I love touching you, I love making love to you. Nothing especially not scum like Jess could ever change that Meredith."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Tell me what your thinking Meredith." said Dr. Bolton

Meredith stared out the window and didn't answer the women across from her. When she did her voice was cold and hard nothing like the Meredith from three months before.

"I'm thinking that I'm not a doctor at Boston General, so why would I go to a therapist for the doctors at Boston General?"

"We've been through this Meredith, I don't only treat the doctors here I treat their family as well."

It had been two months since she was discharged from the hospital and a month since Derek started making her go to therapy every Saturday when she came down to visit. So far she hadn't said anything to the other women. There was nothing to say. Why would she want to tell her innermost thoughts to a complete stranger. It was times like this that she wished Christina and Izzie went to a school closer to her so she could talk to them. She hadn't even told them what had happened. She didn't want to tell them over the phone and then them rush back home to make sure she was okay which she was positive was going to happen if she told them.

"Derek says that you've been distant would you like to explain that?"

Meredith took a deep breath. "Do you think you would be distant if you where raped by your ex boyfriend and may or may not be carrying his child?" She returned her attention back to the window before continuing.

"I don't want this baby, I resent it and I resent Derek for making me keep it."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Her hands shook as she dialed the number she had dialed four times already. Really she didn't know what was wrong with her. Why was it bothering her so much to tell Izzie and Christina what happened? In the past they had shared everything. But this wasn't like in the past, she reminded herself. This was so different. It felt to her like this was all her fault and she was ashamed of what had happened. If she would have just fought back harder or ran away when she had the chance.

After three rings the familiar sleepy voice of her best friend Izzie came through the phone.

"Hello?"

"Iz? Did I wake you up?" Meredith asked her voice was tight from trying not to breakdown over the phone. So far she had been pretty brave, or at least good at putting up a brave front. She hadn't really cried since her stay in the hospital. " 'Cus if I did I'll call you back in the morning ."

"Yeah Mer, but don't worry about it I've been wanting to hear from you. It's been three months Meredith." She sounded sad disappointed. Meredith felt the guilt wash over her. She should have called them she didn't have to tell them what happened.

Meredith closed her eyes and did her best to hold back the tears that where bound to fall any moment. "I-I need you to come home."

"Did something happen." her voice was laced with concern

"I just really really need you to come home for a little while." Her voice broke and a single tear fell down her cheek "And Christina can you get Christina to come home?"

"Of course. I really wish you would tell me what's up."

"I will when you get down here I just don't think I should tell you about it over the phone."

"Is everything okay?"

"No."

Izzie sighed. "We'll be on the next plane out."

"Thank you." Meredith mumbled.


	18. Do You Think He Left Her?

_He was on top of her feeling her up roughly and she was screaming, screaming so loudly that she was sure the nabors could hear her. She just wanted it to be over she wanted him to kill her and just be done with it. She felt like everything was on fire. Her carefully controlled tears where now flowing freely as she begged him to stop and screamed out for help at the same time. _

_Somewhere she heard the door crash open as is hit the wall most likely leaving a hole in the wall. Blurred as her vision was she knew who was standing in the door way of the living room. _

_Derek. _

"_I'm doing this for us Meredith. I'm doing this because I love you." Jess said _

_A gun seemed to appear out of no where. _

_One gun shot _

_Two gunshots _

_The loudest most soul wrenching cry that escaped her yet slipped passed her lips as she watched her husband fall. _

"Derek no!" Meredith cried shooting up in bed

Derek sat up next to her his heart seemed to be beating hard against his chest he swallowed she was okay nobody was after her it was just a bad dream.

"Mer babe it's okay."

Meredith looked at him confused before she fell against his chest shaking with sobs. "For… for a second Derek I thought I had lost you." She choked.

"Sh, sh Meredith I'm right here. I'm fine, scared half to death but I'm just fine."

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry Derek."

"Theirs nothing to be sorry about Mer, you did nothing wrong."

Meredith shook her head, "It's been four months Derek I should have moved on by now. I should be over this."

"You can take all the time you need babe. It's not something you get over so easily."

"You seemed to get over it pretty quickly." She sniffled against his chest.

"Seemed to. But every time I think about it- I- I just wish I would have killed him. He didn't deserve to live."

"I'm glad you didn't I don't think I would be able to do this without you."

Derek nodded and kissed her forehead. "I will always be here."

-------------

When Christina and Izzie arrived a the airport they weren't in the least bit surprised that no one was waiting on them. If something was truly wrong Meredith wouldn't have the time to pick them up. The entire plane ride Izzie had stressed over what could possibly be wrong with Meredith or Derek. All she did was talk the entire time when all Christina wanted to do was stick her ipod in her ears and study for her up coming finales which she did. It wasn't that she wasn't worried about her best friend, because she was she just didn't wish to express her worries so vocally.

Izzie haled a cab and gave them the directions to Meredith's and Derek's house. They where there in less then ten minuets. In the email Meredith had sent Izzie right after she called said that there was a key under the mat and just to let themselves in. So they did, the house was bigger then they expected. Bigger then what an intern could afford but it was beautiful.

Meredith was sitting on the couch her eyes closed obviously sleeping. The blanket that was covering her body did nothing to hide her condition the tiny bump stuck out as if it was a neon sigh rather then a pregnant women's stomach. Izzie and Christina exchanged shocked glances. What was so bad about being pregnant… unless he left her. No, he wouldn't do that. In the short time they had been around the couple they where very much aware of how much Derek loved Meredith. He constantly looked like he was about to throw himself in front of a bullet for her.

"Did she tell you she was pregnant?" Christina asked in an accusing whisper.

Izzie shook her head. "No she didn't tell me any thing. Do you think he left her?"

"No way did you not see that sick lovey dovey look he's always giving her? He wouldn't leave her if she got pregnant not for anything."

"Yeah I suppose."

Meredith started to stir causing them both to stop talking. She opened her eyes and smiled at her friends, although it didn't quiet reach her eyes. "Hey guys, thanks for coming." She said in a low fragile sounding voice.

"You okay Mer? You need to tells us what happened.", Izzie said she looked curious but mostly concerned.

"Anyone thirsty?" Meredith asked looking everywhere but at her friends.

"No stop trying to change the subject and tells us why the hell you called us down here?"

Meredith studied her face for a long moment and then said. "I'm pregnant." her voice cracked.

"Yeah we noticed but what's so bad about that? don't you want Sheppard's kid?"

Meredith took a deep breath, when she finally looked up there where tears in her eyes.

"I do, but this might not be his." She gestured toward her stomach.

Izzie's eyes got wide and she backed up away from Meredith in shock and then with a slightly disgusted tone she said. "You cheated on Derek?!"

"No." She whispered.

"Then I don't understand." Cristina said.

"Jessie came back."

"And….?" Christina again she sounded annoyed.

"He had been fallowing me watching Derek too, you know making a plan for the most perfect time to… attack." She closed her eyes tightly to keep the tears at bay. "and He did about five months ago."

"He didn't…" She seemed to have a hard time saying the word raped.

Meredith looked away again neither confirming nor denying. But just doing that confirmed Izzie's suspicions she gasped audibly and her arms where around Meredith in a flash, hugging her tightly.

"Oh Meredith you should have called us! We would have been here right away!"

Meredith looked down, almost as soon as she asked Izzie to come she regretted it but she knew if she was about to find out who the father of here baby was she wanted Izzie and Christina to be right their holding her hand because if it wasn't Derek's what was she going to do?

"I couldn't ask that of you guys, your still in school and it would set you so far back."

"Then why call now?"

This time Meredith actually looked up this time. "Because I couldn't deal with it if this baby wasn't Derek's."

"So what, does Derek plan on leaving you if it's not his?"

Meredith shook her head. "He said he loved whatever was a part of me."

"Wow, That's just wow." Izzie whispered in disbelief. The two pairs of eyes that were on her now looked at her with pity, she squirmed under their gaze she hated when people looked at her that way especially Izzie and Christina.

"Why did you even decided to keep it?" Christina asked in typical Christina style.

Meredith sighed. "I didn't want to all I wanted was to get any reminder of _him out my body. But there is a possibility that the baby is Derek's and, well we couldn't take that chance." Meredith yawned and looked away her eyes where tearing up again. _

"_You guys must be hungry the doctors appointment is in a hour so you can get a snack or something and we'll go to lunch afterwards." _

_Both of them nodded somewhat still in shock as they fallowed Meredith into the kitchen and then up to the rooms they where staying at. _

_A/N: Merry Christmas all! Or Happy Holidays. _

_Do you thik this is a good enough gift for all of you? LOL/ _

_Anyways Please review. And I'll get and update at fast as possible. Next Chapter, we find out who the father is! _


	19. Aiden Christopher

A/N; Alas! Another chapter! Haha I'm lucky to have gotten this up my dog chewed up the cable to my laptop charger so it is currently useless. (i'm going to kick the little guys but, jkjk) Anyways I hope you enjoy!

Oh yeah this chapter is dedicated to **apocalyps24 **

She could live with it, if the baby wasn't Derek's. Or at least she would try. She would try because Derek was trying. She knew it was killing him, the idea of her having a child that wasn't his, but he was being Derek and taking it in without letting on to how he really felt. She knew that with Derek by her side she would be able to love the baby no matter what because she refused to be the mother her mother was to her up until recently. Yeah she would be okay. Or at least that what she was telling herself.

She looked over at Christina, and then at Izzie they where both sitting in the plastic blue chairs in front of her, Christina with her legs folded under her in and Indian style she looked very bored and her Ipod was blaring out Madonna. Izzie had her legs crossed and her foot was shaking rather badly, she was playing with her fingers nervously and every now and then she would sigh in impatienceor shoot Meredith a sympathetic look.

Addison had already been in, done the ultrasound and took some blood to make sure everything was going smoothly. Which it was, they where going to have a strong healthy baby boy. Immediately after she said the word boy Meredith was flooded with thoughts of a little boy with dark curls and beautiful blue eyes. Would she really be able to bear it if instead of dark curls the child had strait blond hair? If instead of beautiful blue eyes he had dark brown ones? Eyes that terrifeid Meredith to no end.

She shook the thought away before it made her cry again she hated the stupid pregnancy hormones. It was so quiet in the room that she nearly jumped out of her skin when the door suddenly opened. A dark red headed women walked in with her nose buried in a chart. Meredith immediately smiled she really felt at ease with Addison even though she was a very hot women with legs to die for who worked along side her husband everyday. But she had been a lot of help when she was in the hospital and after she went back home.

"Hey Meredith." She said brightly.

Meredith smiled weakly at her she felt nauseated now was the moment that she would find out who the father of her baby was after waiting and entire week for the results to come back from the labs she would finally know for sure.

"I have good news for you Meredith." Addison said sitting down on the stool in front of her.

"yeah?" Meredith asked expectantly.

"You and Derek are going to have a beautiful child together." She smiled..

"Derek's the father?" She asked the excitement evident in her voice.

"Yes he is congratulations." she hugged Meredith tightly. She looked just as relieved and happy as Meredith felt.

"Where is he?" She asked.

Addison looked at the watch on her wrist and then back at Meredith. "He should be finishing up with surgery any minuet now."

"What OR?"

"OR two."

"Thank you Addie for everything you've been great." She smiled and then did something very un Meredith like, she kissed Addison on the cheek and all but ran out of the room completely forgetting the two friends who where still sitting on the blue plastic chairs.

She hurried through the hallways getting many confused looks from nurses and doctors who were going about their daily business. She was surprised to find Derek not in OR two but walking down the hallway with his scrub cap still on looking exhausted but sexy as hell. She stopped abruptly in front of him and smiled widely, a real smile that made her eyes shine with the love she felt toward her husband and now their baby.

"Hey Mer how'd the appointment go, I'm really really sorry I was pulled into an emergency surgery."

"Doesn't matter I'm so not upset with you."

He looked at her skeptically, "Your not?"

"Nope not in the least bit, in fact I'm thrilled because Derek, you and I, are having a baby."

"You mean…?" he asked just as excited as she was.

Meredith nodded enthusiastically. "Yep, there's a little Aiden Christopher on the way." She grinned.

"No way! I'm going to have a son?"

Meredith nodded, she hadn't seen him this excited since the day they got married. He gathered her rather forcefully in his arms and kissed her hard on the lips, and then on her forehead and cheeks. She laughed as his stubble tickled her neck.

"Oh my god Meredith we're going to have a son."

Meredith nodded.

"You just made me not only the happiest man alive but also the luckiest."

XxXxXxXxXxX

After Derek kissed her good bye and headed off to find his interns, Meredith caught up with Izzie and Christina who where both leaning against a the nurses station talking to Mark, well Izzie was the only one who was saying anything and it defiantly wasn't just talking more like flirting. Meredith rolled her eyes as in love with Addie as mark was he was after all mark and there was no changing that. If he saw a beautiful women he just couldn't help himself and cleared her throat to grab the others attention.

"Oh thank god." Christina muttered, everyone ignored her.

"So what's the verdict?" Mark asked all signs of flirting now gone he looked like a concerned big brother now. Something she loved about Mark was that when it came to her as far as he was concerned she was his little sister.

"There's a little Sheppard on the way." she grinned.

Mark laughed and hugged her tightly. "That's great Mer."

"Yep, now me and my friends have some celebrating to do so I would appreciate it if you could stop flirting with them long enough for us to leave."

"Sorry Mer, it's my natural charm can't help it."

"I'm sure Addie would love to help you with that."

Mark gulped causing the three women to laugh. Meredith kissed him on the cheek and waved a farewell.

"So where are we going to eat?"

Meredith thought for a moment she was really craving Mexican. "How about Las Tres Amigos?"

Izzie nodded. "Whatever the preggers want she gets."

Meredith stuck her tongue out and crossed arms with Izzie and Christina. The three of them went to lunch, Meredith consuming twice as much at the other two women. They were done eating when Izzie inquired about names.

"Well I was thinking Aiden Christopher." Meredith answered with an affectionate hand rubbing her swollen abdomen. She was starting to get extremely excited about being a mother. Especial a the mother of Derek's baby.

"Oh I love that name Mer! It's so cute! You have to let us throw you a shower! Before we leave other wise we wont be able to throw one you know since we have finals coming up and all."

Christina simply nodded and added. "Yeah and it would be cool to see the little rug rat after he's born and all."

Meredith grinned.

"Just don't expect me to be useing any baby talk because I don't do baby talk baby talk is for people who have lost there minds."

"Hey!" Izzie said offended by what her long time friend said. "I do baby talk!"

Christina rolled her eyes, "Point and case right there you my friend have lost your mind."

Izzie growled softly at Christina which caused Meredith to laugh, nothing had changed at all with her two favorite people in the world. And that thrilled her to no end.

"I missed you guys a lot." Meredith said in an impossible sappy voice.

Izzie turned from Christina and smiled broadly at Meredith. "Well we've missed you too."

"Ugh." Christina said in a disgusted voice. "I missed you too but do we have to be all sappy about it?"

A/N; Now I know that deserved some beautiful reviews from my amazing readers! Whata ya say?


	20. Worst First Day Ever

Meredith was severely depressed. She was twenty hours into her forty hour shift as an intern and while she was high on the surgery she had just witnessed she missed her son terribly. In the four years since he had been born she hadn't spent more than a few hours away from him. Meredith pulled a picture of him and smiled lovingly. He was sitting in Meredith's lap with an even smaller child in his arms. His eyes were on the boy as were Meredith's. Both of them were smiling. The picture had been taken three months ago the day after their newest son, Cameron Brice Shepherd was born. He looked nothing like his older brother who had his father's thick black curls and bright blue eyes. Cameron had the same hair as his father and brother but it was the color of his mothers and he also had Meredith's lighter blue eyes.

Aiden was a great big brother, he loved to help change his diapers or to get Cameron dressed. Sometimes she even let Aiden help her feed Fisher who she had just started feeding with bottles. Derek was more than she had ever expected him to be, she didn't know why she was so surprised though because really he was a great person all around. Why wouldn't he be a great father as well?

"Are those your boys?" Bailey asked looking at the picture Meredith had in her hand.

Meredith grinned and handed her the picture. "The older one is Aiden he's four and the youngest is Cameron he's only three months old."

Bailey smiled back at Meredith. "Aiden looks like Shepherd and Cameron, he looks a little like you." She handed her the picture back.

Meredith laughed. "Everyone says that, you know if it wasn't for Aiden's nose no one would think that he is my kid."

"You miss them don't you?"

Meredith nodded, "I've never spent the night away from my boys. I had no idea it would be this hard."

"You never do," Bailey laughed. "You may not have to miss them for much longer though." She pointed behind Meredith.

"Go ahead take an early lunch."

Meredith furrowed her brow in confusion, what the hell was Bailey talking about, and what happened to her being the Nazi? The older women seemed almost nice.

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" She heard him yell.

She spun around with the biggest smile on her face since she tucked him into bed the night before. She was running toward her with his _Monsters vs. Aliens _book bag on his back and his dark curls bouncing. Meredith laughed and caught him in her arms. She kissed him on the cheek and he giggled so she began to attack his face in kisses.

"Mommy! Okay I give, I give!" He laughed.

Derek came to Meredith's side only just catching up with their rambunctious son. In his arms was Cameron. Meredith kissed the tiny babies forehead.

"How is momma's little boy?" She asked. He opened his eyes and smiled toothlessly at her/

"I'm your little boy Mommy!" Aiden said frowning.

Meredith shook her head. "No, Aiden you're my big strong boy." She poked him in the side and he laughed.

Meredith looked up at Derek. "Now, how is my big strong man today?" She asked maneuvering around the two children in their arms she pressed her lips against Derek's in a chaste kiss.

"I'm great. How are you?"

Meredith smiled and kissed him again. "So much better now that I get to see my three most favorite men."

Derek laughed and with his free hand took hers. "How about I treat you to a lunch?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Aiden!" Izzie yelled across the Cafeteria.

Aiden's bright blue eyes widened and he looked up at his mother silently asking her for permission to take off toward his favorite aunt. Meredith nodded and Aiden was gone he ran right into her arms and just like Meredith she kissed every inch of his face before she let him down. As soon as Meredith sat down at the table where Alex, Christina, Izzie and George were sitting at Izzie tried to take Cameron out of Meredith's arms but she looked at the blond like she was crazy and held her baby tighter to her chest.

"He's mine go away blondie." She said.

Izzie laughed. "I just wanted to see my nephew." She said with a frown.

"I just got him after a whole day without him. And he's mine." Said Meredith she kissed him on the top of the head to punctuate her point. "All mine Iz."

Izzie ignored her and pulled Aiden into her lap. "Chris." Aiden said pointing at Christina. She smiled.

"Hey rug rat." Aiden giggled.

"I'm not rug rat! I'm Aiden."

Christina poked him in the side. "You sure about that because you kind of look like a rug rat to me? What do you think Alex?"

Aiden's gaze traveled from Christina to Alex waiting for an answer. "He looks more like a carpet ape to me." Alex made monkey motions and noises at the little boy. Aiden almost fell out of Izzie's lap for laughing so much.

XXXXXXX

For someone with such tiny legs Aiden sure could run. He was currently on the run from his mother and he was defiantly doing a good job of it. Then again Meredith had a three month old child in her arms and couldn't exactly run. She spotted Izzie in an exam room with a patient and she made a b-line for the door.

"Please take him for just a second. Aiden ran off and I have to get him before he burns the hospital down." Said Meredith in a rushed breathy voice.

Izzie nodded mutely and gently took Cameron, who was sleeping from her. Meredith took off immediately sprinting down the hallway in search of her son. She made it almost all the way down the hallway when her foot caught on something and she was flying through the air. Meredith threw her arms out to break her fall and almost immediately regretted it. She would rather break her face than her surgeon hands. As she landed she could hear the bones in her left wrist breaking white hot pain shot up her arm and through her body. She hit her head on the ground and laid there with a moan. Today had to be the worst intern day in the history of intern days.

"Your son is adorable." Said a voice from above. Meredith opened one eye she saw a pair of white tennis shoes.

"Mommy are you okay?" Aiden asked but his voice was too far away to be just three feet from the ground.

"You need help up?" asked the same women, Meredith nodded and lifted her had up for the women to help her but it just hung their uselessly. The women took her other hand instead and helped her up.

"I think you broke your hand." She said.

Meredith nodded. "I heard the bone break. I'm Meredith by the way. Thanks for catching him."Meredith tried to smile but it turned out as a wince because of the throbbing pain in her arm.

"I'm Callie; the Ortho resident here would you like me to take a look at your hand?"

Meredith thought about it for a moment. She looked at her wrist which was quickly turning purple and swelling. "Yeah sure I just have to take the boys back to daycare and then I'll meet you back up here?"

"Boys?"

Meredith nodded. "I have a three month old as well."

"You wont be able to carry him with your wrist like that let me help you down there."

XXXXX

"Yep it's a clean break Meredith." She said as she examined the X-ray.

Meredith groaned a clean break meant that it would take longer to heal, which meant no surgery she wouldn't even be able to do sutures for at least two months. She would not doubt be put on scut.

Callie rolled a chair in front of Meredith and took her hand in her lap. "Tell me how you and Dr. Shepherd met."

"How do you know were married? " she asked.

"One thing you should learn about Seattle Grace is that it's a breeding ground for gossip."

Meredith nodded; she already knew that really any hospital was a breeding ground for gossip.

"The other interns aren't very happy that you're married to an attending. They think that you're going to get special treatment."

"The other interns are stupid." She pouted.

"I know, now tell me about how you and your husband met."

Meredith smiled serenely. "I was seventeen, and he was twenty-five and my mother's intern."

"Oooh scandal where you guys together right away?"

Meredith shook her head. "No, not at first, I was dating someone who I had been with for about two years. This guy began to get abusive and I went to Derek both times he attacked me. Derek had been telling me for a while that he was in love with me and he helped me through it. I fell in love with him; I mean how couldn't you fall for someone who helped you through the worst period of your life? And the level of adoration he showed toward me wasn't easy to ignore." She laughed wondering why she was sharing so much with this women she barely knew.

"He's the most amazing man I've ever met." She said simply. She felt Callie pull hard on her hand and gasped in pain.

"You tricked me." She glared.

Callie smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "It worked didn't it."

"Do I have to wear a cast? I can't wear a brace or something?"

Callie gave her a stern look. "You know that you can't Meredith. It's either no surgery for the next two months or no surgery ever."

"How about neither?" She asked hopefully.

"I wish it was that easy. Now do you want a hot pink cast or a purple one?"

Meredith raised an eye brow. "Do I look like I'm a fourteen year old little girl?" She asked with a laugh.

"No not at all. I'm guessing you want white?"

"You guessed right."

A/N: No your eyes are not deceiving you, you are in fact getting an update. I think I'm back for good. Sorry I was unable to write for a while some stuff went down and I was too upset to write then when I was finally okay I couldn't come up with anything for this story. I'm sorry guys. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Please please review it may inspire me to write faster. =D Especially since I have half of the next chapter done. =)


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